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Is it just me?

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Chip
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Joined: 12/31/1969

I'm not sure how to write this post without potentially coming across as an a--hole.

A few days ago in the Game Production board in response to a request for some help finding a game box designer, I offered to provide a name and number for a designer I've had contact with. I asked that if anyone were interested, they should send me a private message because I didn't want to post other people's phone numbers and such on the forum.

A few people responded to my offer, which I think is great. I'm more than happy to pass around info that someone might find useful. I've certainly benefited from the discussions that take place in the BGDF and hopefully the few posts I contribute aide in other's efforts. What I take exception to however, in the context of a private message, is the practice of not identifying yourself in any manner other than a userID. It doesn't bother me that 90% of the people on the BGDF use various pseudonyms to identify themselves in the discussion boards. Personally I like seeing a person's location and knowing first names and such. And for a vast majority of the people that post on a regular basis there's usually some combination of user info available if you're interested in looking for it. But if people aren't comfortable for whatever reason offering such info, so be it. When someone sends me a private message however looking for a referral or specific info, I think it's only common courtesy to let a person know who you are (at least provide a first name in closing). It will be my reputation on the line when the name, phone number, or e-mail address I've provided ultimately gets used. The particular e-mail in question that irked me a little bit was one that only asked for the info I offered. No salutation, no signature, nothing. It wasn't mean spirited and the person sending it probably didn't think twice about it, but basically it said, "I'm interested in your info, please send it to me." In a situation like this, knowing absolutely nothing about the person to whom I'm passing the info, I'm not inclined to provide it.

If you still want the info, send me another message.

Chip

Anonymous
Is it just me?

Just looking at other possibilities, but could there be a language barrier at play? I've seen numerous folks from across the pond in the UK (two people separated by a common language), but it wouldn't surprise me if there are a few folks for whom maybe English isn't their primary language. That may not be the case whatsoever here, but I thought I'd offer it up as food for thought.

I agree with your position, however. If you want information from me, at least provide some in return.

jwarrend
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Joined: 08/03/2008
Is it just me?

I think you're on pretty level ground here. If someone rubs you the wrong way, you're of course not obligated to actually provide them with anything.

I think anonymity on the boards may not be to everyone's tastes, but it must be respected; not everyone is comfortable with their personal information being public.

In a private message requesting information, though, certainly more personal info can/should be provided, but in this case, I think it's more just an issue of common courtesy. I'll freely confess that brevity is not my strong suit, but I don't particularly admire it in others either -- the note that individual sent you would not have sat well with me either. That's not to say that the guy is being a jerk -- some people are just naturally curt. But to all the "curt" folks out there, curtness can often come across sounding like rudeness. You'd do well to pad your prose if for no other reason than to avoid being misunderstood but those of us who don't feel that a one sentence request for assistance really constitutes asking "the right way."

I would just wait to see if the individual fleshes out his request a little more...

phpbbadmin
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Joined: 04/23/2013
My views

Well, when I initially set up this site, I think we were all hesitant to just jump right in and expose our soft underbellies to the world. As the site has grown and matured and taken on a semblance of permanence, I think a paradigm shift has occured. People are willing to let their hair down so to speak. This site has turned from being just another internet bulletin board to an actual little community. I think most of the conflict that occurs here (and there really isn't that much) is when people who view it as the former (internet BBS) clash with people who view the site as the latter (close knit community). Heck, even *I* didn't start signing my real name up until a few months ago when someone posed the question "Why don't we use our real names?". I have to be honest, I just hadn't thought about using it. In my mind, all internet forms of Internet communication has also been through my alias. It took me a while to throw off the mask, but it feels good 'naked'. Where am I going with this? I guess to simply say some people (usually folks who are new) see this as just another part of the internet; where topics get *bumped*, spelling and grammar don't matter, and manners are a waste of time. Now for the rest of us, we see it as a site to come and openly discuss things intelligently and courteously. I think once the new folks realize what sort of community culture we have, then they will hopefully be less likely to be curt, and more likely to to be courteous and respectful.

-Michael

FastLearner
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Is it just me?

On usernames, I now wish that I could go back in time and change mine. I mean, don't get me wrong, I could certainly change it in the database (probably to MatthewF), but it would screw up all kinds of references inside messages, as things like "when FastLearner said" wouldn't make any sense any more.

-- Matthew(F)

Anonymous
Is it just me?

FastLearner wrote:
but it would screw up all kinds of references inside messages, as things like "when FastLearner said" wouldn't make any sense any more.

What, no "global replace" function? :wink:

Chip
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Is it just me?

Everyone's responses to my initial post here I think have been right on. I'm trying to think back to my initial psyche when I first joined the group. Although I've always used my real name as my ID I certainly was very hesitant to chime in early on. I just hope I didn't scare off or offend any new members (or established forum participants for that matter) or make anyone think they shouldn't be participating in discussions. That certainly wasn't the point of opening this discussion.

Chip

Anonymous
Is it just me?

Chip! I can use all of the publicity I can get. Gary tells me I'm the "best game designer no one has ever heard of" :-). I've never been sure if that was a compliment or not...

XX = Two hugs
OO = Two Kisses
CC = Christopher Clark of Inner City Games Designs and Hekaforge Productions

...and I don't care who knows :-).
XXOOCC (the same sig I use on game industry lists)

Aerjen
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Joined: 08/28/2008
Is it just me?

Hmm, is this where the language barrier sets in? In the Netherlands XX stands for kisses and OO could be eyes or hugs. The latter I don't know about, but I'm sure about the XX.

Oracle
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Joined: 06/22/2010
Is it just me?

Aerjen wrote:
Hmm, is this where the language barrier sets in? In the Netherlands XX stands for kisses and OO could be eyes or hugs. The latter I don't know about, but I'm sure about the XX.

In Canada, I've always known it as XX for kisses, OO for hugs.

(Oh, and to comment on your original thread, I don't advertise my real identity, but I also don't try to hide it. )

Jason

sedjtroll
sedjtroll's picture
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Joined: 07/21/2008
Is it just me?

XXOOCC wrote:
XX = Two hugs
OO = Two Kisses
CC = Christopher Clark of Inner City Games Designs and Hekaforge Productions

DEFINITELY X=kiss, O=hug.

Anonymous
Is it just me?

XXOOCC wrote:
Gary tells me I'm the "best game designer no one has ever heard of" :-). I've never been sure if that was a compliment or not...

XX = Two hugs
OO = Two Kisses
CC = Christopher Clark of Inner City Games Designs and Hekaforge Productions

I know Chris, I've met with him, I've broken bread with him. Aside from being a very funny guy I can tell you that for Ed & I he has always been a sincere help and good friend. Many game publishers see new publishers as a threat or competition. Chris was one of the first to come forward offering sound cohesive advice to us.

And I mean that as a compliment.

Marc

Nazhuret
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Is it just me?

i've got to say that in a forum / medium that does not request nor require personal information...indeed, one that is set up so that personal informatioin is fundamentaly, inherently protected if it is wished.... if you say that you have a contact for all to partake in and do not specify that personal info is a requirement.... then you should not / can not get annoyed when the person does not give it.

if personal info is required by you then say so. otherwise do not complain when it is not given.

if personal info is inherently important to the protocol of a particular response then do not post that contact info in an inherently public and anonymous forum with the expectation of people replying conforming to a protocol of non-anonymity.

yes that was perhaps obtuse but i couldn't think of another way to say it...

other than this...

if you need to know my name then ASK for it... other than that don't get mad when i don't give it to you.

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