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Need help with card wording.

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Anonymous

Okay... nearing completion on a game that will be self published shortly. My artist is finishing up the design now and we need to get a final wording for a card so he can set-up the prints...

Quick background:
Our game has cards called "Stress" that you play on other people. Each turn, you may play a "Stress" card on someone. Play is then passed to that person... so... the current wording on the card is this:

"Take the stress card just played on you and play it on the person who played it on you."

Now.... that's all sorts of confusing and overworded... trouble is, I can't come up with a wording that says that... with less "play"s in it.

Help?
Thanks!

Tyler

phpbbadmin
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Joined: 04/23/2013
How about

"Take the last stressed card played against you and instead play it back upon that player."

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

I don't understand. Are there different varieties of stress cards? Or do they all say the same thing?

I think a little more in-depth description on how and why the Stress cards are used might help. I'm pretty sure I can help you. I love this kinda stuff.

Stephen
Part Time Game Designer
Full Time English Teacher

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

No. There are Stress cards and there are Action cards. The card with the wording is an Action card.

The "Stress" cards are all fairly uniform... with differing values.

So.... gameplay goes:
I play a Stress card on you.
You play a Stress card on Darke.
Darke plays a Stress card on you.
You play a Stress card on me.
I decide to play this Action card which states:

"Take the last stress card played on you and play it on the player that played it on you."

Then you go...

Thanks!
Tyler

SVan
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Joined: 10/02/2008
Need help with card wording.

To state somewhat differently what Darke has said:

Quote:

"Take the last stressed card played against you and instead play it back upon that player."

For actions:

Use this card after a player plays an action card against you. Instead of that action affecting you, it insteads affects the player who played it.

For Stresses:

Use this card after a player plays a stress card against you. Instead of that stress card being added to your side*, it is instead added to his side*.

*-Side means whatever place you are storing your stress cards. It could be a stress pile or whatever you call it. I surmise from your game that you can gain stress cards from other players and that they accumulate onto your side.

Hope this helps!

-Steve

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

SVan,

Okay, apparently I befuddled things with a typo there in my last message. I edited it.

There are Stress cards and Action cards.
You can play 1 card per turn.

The only wording I'm worried about is:
"Take the last Stress card played on you and play it on the player who played it on you."

Yes. Each player has a "Stress Pile" and OTHER players add to it (not the player himself)...

So the idea is that you are giving me stress, but instead, I give it right back....

Tyler

Anonymous
Wording

So, in other words, the action is like dealing with e-mails. "Forward" would define that action: taking a message that was send to you and forwardingn it to someone else (in this casethe last message). Did I get it right?

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Is it obvious from the card (i.e. color or some other deisgnator) who played the last Stress card on you?

"Remove the top card from your Stress pile and play it back on the original player".

Not perfect, but might give you some better ideas....

Michael

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

arbytes,

Um..... more like "Return to Sender"

But essentially, yes.... forwarding back to the person who sent it.

Tyler

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Yes, it is obvious.

As soon as someone plays a stress card on me, it becomes my turn.

Tyler

SVan
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Joined: 10/02/2008
Need help with card wording.

Yes the typo did throw me off some. So for safe measure i helped with both. I figured that each turn consisted of only one action. So after a player plays a stress on you, the card you are working on basically puts the stress back on them.

I was also thinking of the original player who played it version, but thought against it because you may have cards that move stress around, making confusion, since you might not remember who the original player is.

Has any of what anyone said helped?

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Well, everyone has basically confirmed for me that it's a convoluted card and there really isn't a neat and tidy way to circumvent that. :)

So in that respect, yes it has helped. :P

Tyler

SVan
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Joined: 10/02/2008
Need help with card wording.

I think it's better for it to be wordy and long but perfectly clear than for it to be shorter and not clear enough. Short and precise would be the best, but sometimes it isn't going to happen. If it makes sense to you and everyone else that has looked at, I say there isn't a reason to change it.

Ken
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Need help with card wording.

How about: "Return stress card to the player who gave it to you"

but maybe that implies to their hand instead of to their pile?

I like the "Return to Sender" idea. Or how about "Payback's a Bitch"
With these titles (or something similar) the card almost interprets itself.

sedjtroll
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Joined: 07/21/2008
Need help with card wording.

"Move a Stress card just played on you to the Stress Pile of the player who played it."

"Play only after a Stress Card is played on you. Place that Stress Card on the Stress Pile of the player that played it."

Something like that.

- Seth

P.S. Sounds somewhat interesting... may I ask what some of the cards do, and how you get them in your hand to play them?

Aerjen
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Joined: 08/28/2008
Need help with card wording.

Take the stress card just played on you and play it on the person who played it on you.

The player who was targeted by the Strescard may choose a new target for it.

IngredientX
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Joined: 07/26/2008
Need help with card wording.

Is this card played out of sequence, or during your turn? I'd imagine that it's played out of sequence, otherwise players would have to remember who played stress cards. In that regard...

"Play this card immediately, when an opponent tries to play a Stress card on you. The Stress card affects that opponent instead."

Howzat?

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

IngredientX wrote:
Is this card played out of sequence, or during your turn? I'd imagine that it's played out of sequence, otherwise players would have to remember who played stress cards. In that regard...

The card is played during your turn... I'll explain the how-tos by answering this question:

sedjtroll wrote:
P.S. Sounds somewhat interesting... may I ask what some of the cards do, and how you get them in your hand to play them?

Okay.
Shuffle.
Deal 8 cards to each player.
On your turn you may play 1 card.
There are two types: Stress and Action.

This is a numbers game... so... Stress cards are nothing more than a value. 1-4 and a single 10 in the deck.

When you play a Stress card, you play it on another player (put it face-up in front of that player.)

Action cards do various things, but most do something to another players hand or Stress pile or whatever...

After you have played your card, play is passed to the person you effected with your card (so either the recipient of your Stress card or the targe of your Action.) If you did not effect a single player with your card, or are unable to play a card, then play is passed to your left. You must play if you can.

After everyone has passed (can't play) the person with the lowest Stress value gets a bonus towards the victory condition....

...........which you will have to wait a few more weeks to see when I offer the game up too the public. :-)

Tyler

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Hi, I'm new here. Thought I'd try this one out.

I have a few ideas, but I want to get a few things VERY clear first.
When someone plays a stress card on you, does that card go into your HAND or a seperate pile? If they are seperate, you should give seperate names for each in the instructions and it will make the card explainations a lot easier.

For example, say you named the cards in your hand your "ARMADA" and the cards played on you your "CASUALTIES". (probably not the best terms, but this is only hypothetical)

Then the explaination for the card in question could be:
Take the last STRESS card added to your CASUALTIES and add it to the CASUALTIES of the player who gave it to you.

or something of the like.

Also, you might want to use short titles in addition to the longer description so when people get used to the game they only have to glance at the title of the action card to know what it does. You know, something like, "Take it Back" or the previously mentioned "Return to Sender."

my 2 cents
Robyn

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Yes, all Stress cards are played infront of the player, in a "Stress Pile."

And yes, the Action cards do indeed have titles... which are also the captions for the artwork. My artist has done an amazing job capturing the feel of the game and has worked up the subject matter of the picutres and the captions by himself.
It's quite impressive really.

Now, the "Stress" cards do not have titles... reason being this is a numbers game as I stated and there really isn't a point in having a title for a card that is nothing more than a number.

Tyler

Anonymous
Maybe

"When a player plays a stress card upon you, play it back upon that player."

Sundog
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Joined: 12/09/2008
Need help with card wording.

ArtGeek wrote:

Also, you might want to use short titles in addition to the longer description so when people get used to the game they only have to glance at the title of the action card to know what it does. You know, something like, "Take it Back" or the previously mentioned "Return to Sender."

my 2 cents
Robyn

Excellent idea - This reminds me of the Magic card "an Eye for an Eye". The title of the card gives you some indication of it's purpose.

"The stress card last played against you can be played against the card's prior owner." The terms reciprocate, reimburse, return, mirror come to mind in describing the whole event, but KISS is probably best in this case.

Keith

Deviant
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Need help with card wording.

I believe that naming cards is important for any card game with lots of text. An icon (possibly a fragment of the full art) would also help players identify cards. Ideally players should know exactly what is in their hand at all times, so if you can work the name/icon/identifying feature into the upper-left corner (standard for a "regular" deck of playing cards, and helpful in any game). In this way you can ID cards at a glance.

Card names are helpful for players starting out, and invaluable for experienced players who know what everything is for.

Having a definite theme in mind would also help. Players will understand concepts like "betray", "prank", or "insult" more readily than stress, and these words sound more, well, punchy than something generic, even if the mechanics are the same in either case. The game becomes more than a game - it becomes a role-playing adventure. Don't you tell me that this is a "numbers game" and not themeable - the card game I am working on right now is practically all numbers, and it is about looting and capturing cities in the Trojan War.

Ken
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Joined: 12/31/1969
Need help with card wording.

Whether you go with the title or not, one thing that has come to mind in reading the original wording and some of the suggestions is that too many of the same word (or its root) will confuse anyone. Having the word "play" "played" "player" etc. four times or more in the same sentence will confound anyone! Maybe just finding a synonym for one or two of those words might do the trick.

Anonymous
Need help with card wording.

Ken wrote:
Whether you go with the title or not, one thing that has come to mind in reading the original wording and some of the suggestions is that too many of the same word (or its root) will confuse anyone. Having the word "play" "played" "player" etc. four times or more in the same sentence will confound anyone! Maybe just finding a synonym for one or two of those words might do the trick.

That's exactly what I was looking to get around...
And it seems there really are no ways to pull it off.

To keep things simple and cohesive, the rules note "Play a card" and refer to "players"... so it's hard to contradict the terminology used in the rules with card text.

So... for instance, if the rules read like this:

"On your turn you may play one card. If you chose to play a Stress card, simply take it from your hand and place it face up on the table in front of another player. If you choose to play an Action card, take it from your hand and place it face up on the Discard Pile, follow the instructions on the card."

...should I contradict the rules word choice by changing card text to something less confusing?

"Take the last Stress card played on you and place it face up in front of another player."

That just seems confusing. Am I PLAYING that card on another player (which, by the way, "PLAY", "PLAYED", "PLAYING" are all triggers for other card effects in the game)... or just placing it there?

I dunno... I think it's going to end up staying. It makes sense... you just have to take it slow when reading it. :)

Besides... who reads a card more than once anyways? :P :P

Tyler

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