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Help with rules editing

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Beggarking
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Joined: 09/09/2014

I've drafted a quick set of play instructions and could use some help with editing. Any feedback would be welcome.

Cheers!

Dralius
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The overview seems over

The overview seems over written. In the first paragraph you say “Make multiple trips to the past meet other time-travelers, and solve missions in different eras of history.” Then you reiterate it in a more detailed form in the second paragraph. I would join them and take out the word multiple since ‘trips’ is already plural.

In Resolving Paradoxes it should say “If more than 2 players chose the Zone,” since a paradox can’t happen with just one player.

Under player action is “Players can only score/collect 1 Mission during the round.” Maybe I misunderstood a rule but since you only choose one Zone how would you claim more than one?

I like that you included a components list at the beginning and that you used a lot of examples.

Zag24
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Joined: 03/02/2014
Looks like fun!

It looks like a fun game. A couple of issues.

1. ". After the swap, players exercise the special Ability on their Player Mat (if they have one). "
I didn't see any way a player could lose their Player Mat. Are you referring to the special ability? That is, are there some mats without a special ability? If so, that's a dangling modifier, plus it sounds not fun. Even though there is a chance of changing mats, I still don't want one without a special ability.

2. If two people go to the same zone (causing a paradox and swapping mats) and then the mission is solved, I assume that the player who made a companion change that caused the mission to be solved takes it immediately. You might make this clear. (At first I had thought that everyone made their companion changes, and then the missions were evaluated. This would allow, for instance, one person to make a change that fulfills a mission, but someone else makes another change that undoes it.)

3. You said that someone can't win two missions in a single turn. What if this happens:
- You and I go to the same zone, and switch mats.
- Your new mat has you going first, you play a companion that fulfills the zone's mission, and take it.
- We turn up the next mission, and the companions already there also fulfill that one, but you're not allowed to take it because you've already taken one this turn.
- Now it's my turn. Can I just take the mission? Perhaps after making an insignificant change?

4. The shadow effect on your images looks fine except for the text bubbles in the section "3. Player Action." That just looks goofy and sloppy.

Beggarking
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Thanks!

Thank you Dralius - appreciate you taking the time to write up some things to change/parsed down

Beggarking
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Joined: 09/09/2014
Thank you!

Really appreciate the comments, Zag24 - some clarifications:

1. Everyone player mat has a special ability, but not all of the abilities effect play at this point. I agree, this part should be re-worded.
2. Yes - all those player mat changes happen at once - I'll clarify
3. Yes, it can turn out that, by random chance, you can now solve the second mission in that zone. However, once a mission is solved, the existing companions are discarded for 1 new one, so in practice this doesn't happen all that often.

Thanks for taking the time to give it a read-thru.

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