Could someone please review the rule book for my first game? I've spent a lot of time documenting the rules. I need some other eyes to look at it and let me know what they think. Suggestions are very appreciated!
I'm new to BGDF so if this isn't the right place then I'm sorry.
Hi there! Looks like you have a fun card & dice game here. I have a few questions based on my read-through:
- How does the game end? Since the players reshuffle the Encounter Deck, what signifies when the players escape or win or whatever?
- Furthermore, I wasn't completely clear with the objective of the game. It seems to me like endurance is the main goal here: make it to the "end." But when I couldn't see a final objective, and especially when I read that the Encounter Deck is reshuffled, I had no idea with the winning/ending condition may be. Maybe list this explicitly - so there's no question about it - as part of the introductory flavor text?
- How do the Encounter Level Up cards affect the game? Is there a set of instructions for how they work? Maybe these are the key to ending the game successfully...
- I assume that the Ability Cards are a way for players to more effectively interact with one another. Is this a co-op game, a co-op/competitive game, or a competitive game?
- If it is co-op, is there a way for players to share equipment with one another? I imagine that phase 3 of a turn could allow players to trade, swap, or otherwise move around equipment.
I like the idea that each player has a hex tile and can place certain items in certain places. It gives a nice visual cue as to what a player has on them, and how effective they may be in a given encounter.
Hope these suggestions and questions were useful! Best of success with your game. :)
Hello rsvj,
I read the entire document and scribbled way too many notes on it to mention them all, but here are the major points: 1) The intro says your goal is to survive the Labyrintheus and become one of the King's Champions, but you never explain how much treasure you have to collect or how many monsters you have to slay to reach that goal. So my first suggestion would be is to clearly mark the goal.
2) You go into details before you explain what players do. Put the turn order upfront.
3) The "treasure chest" had me confused. I read "treasure card" and wondered how they would end up in the encounter deck.
4) You have a lot of repetition. Consider using "If the encounter deck or the treasure deck runs out, shuffle the appropriate discards and make a new pile." This reduces nearly two paragraphs to a single sentence. The same goes for the "Fight It" and "Avoid it" sections. You can avoid repetition by explaining what happens if you fail in a separate section and refer to that one text.
5) Consistency: In "Fight it" you refer to Health. In "Avoid it" you mention Hit points. You need consistent terminology.
6) I've found a lot of spelling and grammar errors in your rules. Too many to mention them all. Here are a few:
-"Those who survive, live on to become one of the King's chosen few, the King's Champions." (missing apostrophes added)
-"Those who do not survive, aren’t heard from ever again." (typo)
-"If you no health tokens remaining then congratulations your suffering is over." (misspelled possessive corrected)
-"During either your Prep or Cleanup phase, lay the Treasure card down in the appropriate inventory space, protruding from your Persona Tile." (unnecessary word removed)
-"It must be equipped for the first effect to take place." ("affect" is a verb; an effect is what you meant.)
I hope you find some of this nitpicking helpful :)
 | Dymino Monsters Update 4-18-2024 (0) by Stormyknight1976 |
 | Hidden Movement: What Makes it Cool? (18) by questccg |
| Wizardry Legacy: the Forgotten Academy (12) by larienna |
| TradeWorlds — Tactical Core (3) by questccg |
| Introducing, Jacob! (that's me by the way...) (0) by Jacob |
| Chat GPT: Testing as a design assistant (8) by larienna |
| Winner Announced for the Meta Progression Community Challenge! (0) by The Game Crafter |
| Hi guys ~ Gameland and Yaofish are officially accepting board game design submissions! (1) by questccg |
| A programmer's dilemma (16) by larienna |
| Qubits: a solo trick taking game (9) by Wobt2 |
| Worker placement, Role selection and Action cards: Is it the same thing? (11) by larienna |
| Site Ads and Google Experiments (0) by questccg |
| TradeWorlds — Smuggler's Run (7) by questccg |
| Single Item Shipping at The Game Crafter (0) by The Game Crafter |
| Protospiel Indy 2024 (May 24-26) (0) by The Game Crafter |
| How to avoid being blocked at content creation (10) by questccg |
| Protospiel Indy 2024 (0) by sirvalence |
| In need of some IDEAS concerning a "Battle" System (15) by questccg |
| How to avoid quarterbacking in an adventure game (7) by larienna |
| How complicated could math get? (23) by X3M |
| Can we have gaming ads on this website (7) by questccg |
| Dice Mitigation Challenge - Winner Announced! (0) by The Game Crafter |
 | Delving! - " That is when it hit me, it was starting to feel like other games" (3) by MarkJindra |
| Game Purchase Contract (0) by MarkJindra |
| Blackboard Boogie Board: a bit of a REVIEW... (2) by questccg |
Awesome feedback! Thank you!
- How does the game end? Since the players reshuffle the Encounter Deck, what signifies when the players escape or win or whatever?
The game ends when the there is one player left alive. That player is the winner.
- Furthermore, I wasn't completely clear with the objective of the game. It seems to me like endurance is the main goal here: make it to the "end." But when I couldn't see a final objective, and especially when I read that the Encounter Deck is reshuffled, I had no idea with the winning/ending condition may be. Maybe list this explicitly - so there's no question about it - as part of the introductory flavor text?
Will do, I think you are right. We need to better express this at the front of the guide.
- How do the Encounter Level Up cards affect the game? Is there a set of instructions for how they work? Maybe these are the key to ending the game successfully...
I guess we do need to expand on how these work. Thanks for the catch! If you really want to know, each time you draw one you place it to the side. For every Encounter Level Up card you get you add 1 to the defense, damage and skill check of any further encounter card. So if there are 3 Level Up cards out that 1 damage 3 defense monster becomes a 4 damage 6 defense monster.
- I assume that the Ability Cards are a way for players to more effectively interact with one another. Is this a co-op game, a co-op/competitive game, or a competitive game?
It is a competitive game, but not in the sense of magic. You don't outright attack each other. Well, there is a PVP arena card you can add in but that's something else. You get an edge up on your competition by resetting traps and redirecting the turn orders.
- If it is co-op, is there a way for players to share equipment with one another? I imagine that phase 3 of a turn could allow players to trade, swap, or otherwise move around equipment.
Interseting idea there, thank you. I'll have to think on that. There is a variant rule we playtest with sometime where there is a loot system for whenever another player dies. Player with the least Health gets first dibs of the dead players stuff.
I like the idea that each player has a hex tile and can place certain items in certain places. It gives a nice visual cue as to what a player has on them, and how effective they may be in a given encounter.
Thank you!
Hope these suggestions and questions were useful! Best of success with your game. :)
Again, many thanks! You have been very helpful.