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Need help proof reading cards abilities

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jedite1000
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Any grammar and spelling fix ups are appreciated

Monster cards

Some monster cards have special effects, the defender monsters can have passive abilities which is activated once played and or active abilities which is used when the defender monster uses a shield to defend and block attacks

DEFENDERS
Some defender monsters do no come with effects and are just used as meat shield to protect other monsters

Alomonga - Enemy attacker that attacks this monster loses 200 Health

Relgna - Passive: Increase life by 50 permanently when an enemy is slain.

Excalibur - Passive: As long as Excalibur is on the field, all of your monster’s health is increased by 200.

Grye - Until the end of your next turn, the enemy that attacks Gyre is removed from play.

Bullruptor - Kill the attacking monster

ATTACKERS

The attacker monsters do not have special effects and just attacks other monsters

SUPPORTERS
these monsters will always have effects and can be activated on either players turns

Nyx - Heal a Monster for 100 life

Annabelle - Search for a level 2 or lower monster in your deck and then play it without cost.

Noah - Reveal opponents hand. Hand remains visible until the end of the turn.

Sparky - All of your attacker’s damage is increased by 100 until the end of the turn.

Kiran - Negate the effect of an enemy monster

Brainfreeze - Your opponent skips the draw phase on their next turn.

Faerydae - When the enemy declares an attack flip a coin, if heads, negate the attack, if tails the attack continues but the attacker is slain.

Nothin - Your opponent cannot defend this turn

Also each monster belongs to a faction card which is a planet, the planet card acts as the players life points with 3 hearts and also comes with a special effect that is unique to the player

WORLDS

Elendrall - Select 1 of your monster in play on your turn, if that monster has remained in play for 4 turns kill that monster and kill all enemy monsters in play. Only 1 monster can benefit from this effect at a time.

Borroka - Before attacking, the enemy must target a melee monster before targeting a ranged monster.

Arusite - Your monsters cannot be slain by an attack

Vilonvi - Once per turn on your turn only, roll a die. If the results are 1 and 3 revive your last slained monster. if the results are 5 and 6 kill one enemy monster.

Undeos - When your monster is killed by the enemy, you can revive that monster once.

Orbling - When your monster kills the enemy monster, you can play 1 orbling monster from your hand without cost.

Techenence - Once per turn flip a coin, if tails, nothing happens, if heads, all Techenence attacker monsters can attack twice per turn.

Mazaric - Once per turn on your turn only, search your deck for 2 attachment cards and add them to your hand.

Royal Palace - When you have 5 different Royal 9 monsters in play, you win the game.

Adam Leamey
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Rather than spelling changes

Rather than spelling changes I am going to suggest some name changes the reason being is people will have an easier time understanding the abilities these are just suggestions mind.

You have some interesting mechanics look forward to seeing more hope this is helpful in some way.

DEFENDERS
Some defender monsters do no come with effects and are just used as meat shield to protect other monsters

Backlash - Enemy attacker that attacks this monster loses 200 Health

Life Drain - Passive: Increase life by 50 permanently when an enemy is slain.

Bulwark - Passive: All of your monster’s health is increased by 200.

Stasis - Until the end of your next turn, the enemy that attacks a monster with this ability is removed from play.

Retribution - Kill the attacking monster

SUPPORTERS
these monsters will always have effects and can be activated on either players turns

First Aid - Heal a Monster for 100 life

Reinforcements - Search for a level 2 or lower monster in your deck and then play it without cost.

Spy - Reveal opponents hand. Hand remains visible until the end of the turn.

Power Boost - All of your attacker’s damage is increased by 100 until the end of the turn.

Dispel - Negate the effect of an enemy monster

Daze - Your opponent skips the draw phase on their next turn.

Misdirect - When the enemy declares an attack flip a coin, if heads, negate the attack, if tails the attack continues but the attacker is slain.

Breakthrough - Your opponent cannot defend this turn

WORLDS

Death Sentance - Select 1 of your monster in play on your turn, if that monster has remained in play for 4 turns kill that monster and kill all enemy monsters in play. Only 1 monster can benefit from this effect at a time.

Guardian - Before attacking, the enemy must target a melee monster before targeting a ranged monster.

Unbreakable - Your monsters cannot be slain by an attack

Life Force - Once per turn on your turn only, roll a die. If the results are 1 and 3 revive your last slained monster. if the results are 5 and 6 kill one enemy monster.

Undying - When your monster is killed by the enemy, you can revive that monster once.

Summon Orb - When your monster kills the enemy monster, you can play 1 orbling monster from your hand without cost.

Blitzkrieg - Once per turn flip a coin, if tails, nothing happens, if heads, all monsters with blitzkrieg can attack twice per turn.

Forge - Once per turn on your turn only, search your deck for 2 attachment cards and add them to your hand.

Royal Decree - When you have 5 different Royal 9 monsters in play, you win the game.

jedite1000
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oh those are the character

oh those are the character names lol sorry for the confusion, though i appreciate the names

Adam Leamey
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oh lol i thought they were

oh lol i thought they were ability names though i would perhaps try and make certain names easier to read and pronounce

kilmor81
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My 10 cents

DEFENDERS

Alomonga - An enemy attacking this monster loses 200 Health

Excalibur - Passive: When Excalibur is on the field, increase your monster’s health by 200 (is this current health or max health? If it is max health, does it increase the current health as well?)

Grye - Until the end of your next turn, enemies that attack Gyre are removed from play. (Can you be attacked outside of your turn?, if not then maybe you can say until the start of your next turn)

Bullruptor - Kill the attacking monster (does it work like Alomonga?, if it does, then maybe should word them similarly)

SUPPORTERS

Nyx - Heal a monster for 100 life (heal life = gain life? should use same wordings)

Annabelle - Search your deck for a level 2 or lower monster and play it without cost. (maybe "put it into play without paying its cost")

Noah - Reveal opponents hand until the end of the turn.

Sparky - All your attacker’s damage is increased by 100 until the end of the turn.

Kiran - Negate the effect of an enemy monster (might want to clarify whether its passive, active or both. And also for how long its negated)

Brainfreeze - Your opponents skip their draw phase next turn.

Faerydae - When the enemy declares an attack, flip a coin. If heads, negate the attack else the attacker is slain after the attack

Nothin - Your opponent cannot defend this turn. (all his monsters or just 1 monster?)

WORLDS

Elendrall - Select 1 of your monster in play on your turn, if that monster has remained in play for 4 turns kill that monster and kill all enemy monsters in play. Only 1 monster can benefit from this effect at a time. (Select during which phase? means I just keep any monster in play for 4 turns first before using this ability? or it has to remain in play for 4 turns after I select it?)

Borroka - Before attacking, the enemy must target a melee monster before targeting a ranged monster. (Do you select multiple targets before attacking? or do you handle attacks individually?)

Vilonvi - Roll a die. If the results are 1 and 3 revive your last slained monster. if the results are 5 and 6 kill one enemy monster. Use this ability only once per turn and only during your turn

Undeos - When your monster is killed by the enemy, you can revive that monster once. (Does slain equal to kill. Does revive equal "putting it on the field"?)

Orbling - When your monster kills the enemy monster, you can play 1 orbling monster from your hand without paying its cost.

Techenence - Flip a coin. If heads, all Techenence attacker monsters can attack twice this turn. You can use this only once per turn (Can assume nothing happens if tails)

Mazaric - Search your deck for 2 attachment cards and add them to your hand. Use this ability only once per turn and only during your turn

Royal Palace - When you have 5 different "Royal 9" monsters in play, you win the game.

I think you can use less words to describe the abilities.
You also have many status used for each ability, maybe you should standardize them if they mean the same thing.
I.e. Slain = Remove from play = Kill.
I.e. On the field = in play
I.e. Heal = Gain life
I.e. Damaged = Lose life
I.e. Enemy = Opponent

I didn't edit these because i am not sure if they mean the same thing.

jedite1000
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Probably should have

Probably should have explained it more properly

slain removed from play does equal kill dunno if its easier just just say kill and killed instead of kill and slain

Heal means whatever life you have lost you get life back but it doesn't exceed the cards life

gain life however mean you gain extra life so if your life is 200 and the effect is gain 100 life then your cards total life is 300
damage means lose life yep

and enemy means opponent dunno what else to call the opponent and the opponents monsters

(Does slain equal to kill. Does revive equal "putting it on the field"?)

revive does mean putting a monster back into play that has been killed and sent to the discard pile

on the field means in play yes, just thought it would sound better by saying in play

Do you select multiple targets before attacking? or do you handle attacks individually?)
the attacker monsters can only attack one monster at a time, unless there is an effect
Also note for the Borroka planet, i tried to make every planet card unique as well as the monster cards, so for the borroka monsters they have an extra stat which is range and melee, no other monsters from other planets have that stat like that so i tried to make it so those cards will play differently than other cards

(Can assume nothing happens if tails)
yeah nothing happens

(Select during which phase? means I just keep any monster in play for 4 turns first before using this ability? or it has to remain in play for 4 turns after I select it?)

Yeah if you have a monster already on the field you then select that monster and now that monster must remain on the field until the effect finishes, if it is killed before 4 turns then the effect doesnt work and you need to select another monster to use the effect again and start the cycle over again

(all his monsters or just 1 monster?)
I didn't really clarify the field set up sorry
you can have 5 monsters on the field at a time 1 defender 3 attackers and 1 supporter, you cant have 2 defenders or 3 supporters ect, the field is set up to only allow 1 defender 3 attackers and 1 supporter

Bullruptor - Kill the attacking monster (does it work like Alomonga?, if it does, then maybe should word them similarly) Not exactly like Alomonga unless the enemy monster has only 200 life then it does die but Bullruptor's ability will kill any monster that attack it no matter the life

(is this current health or max health? If it is max health, does it increase the current health as well?)Yeah its not a healing spell it just further increases all other monsters life by giving them an extra 200 life

Hope that clears up most of the issues

kilmor81
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What I mean

slain removed from play does equal kill dunno if its easier just just say kill and killed instead of kill and slain
I say just use Kill and Killed, easier to understand IMO.

gain life however mean you gain extra life so if your life is 200 and the effect is gain 100 life then your cards total life is 300
damage means lose life yep
Maybe change it to gain max life instead to limit confusion?

and enemy means opponent dunno what else to call the opponent and the opponents monsters
Because you have abilities that target the player and abilities that target the players monster, you should have different terms for them. When I read Alomonga, I am not sure if the player loses 200 life... or the monster loses 200 life

(Does slain equal to kill. Does revive equal "putting it on the field"?)
revive does mean putting a monster back into play that has been killed and sent to the discard pile

on the field means in play yes, just thought it would sound better by saying in play
Then maybe you should change all the text to either "on the field" or "into play". Having 2 terms for the same thing is confusing.

Do you select multiple targets before attacking? or do you handle attacks individually?)
the attacker monsters can only attack one monster at a time, unless there is an effect
Also note for the Borroka planet, i tried to make every planet card unique as well as the monster cards, so for the borroka monsters they have an extra stat which is range and melee, no other monsters from other planets have that stat like that so i tried to make it so those cards will play differently than other cards
So I think you mean to say the very FIRST target an opponent can choose must be melee... after that they can choose any target. You should rephrase "Before attacking..." to "Opponents must target a melee monster for the First attack of his turn. If there are no melee monsters, opponent cannot attack". Not sure whats the intention, but seems powerful...

(Can assume nothing happens if tails)
yeah nothing happens
What I mean to say is, you don't need to put in "If tails,...." in the ability text, just explain what to do if head. Players will assume nothing happens when tails.

(Select during which phase? means I just keep any monster in play for 4 turns first before using this ability? or it has to remain in play for 4 turns after I select it?)
Yeah if you have a monster already on the field you then select that monster and now that monster must remain on the field until the effect finishes, if it is killed before 4 turns then the effect doesnt work and you need to select another monster to use the effect again and start the cycle over again
How would you keep track of the 4 turns? Might I suggest phrasing it this way. "On your turn, select a monster you control and give it a bomb counter. You can only do this once per turn. When a monster has 4 bomb counters, kill that monster and all enemy monsters on the field."

(all his monsters or just 1 monster?)
I didn't really clarify the field set up sorry
you can have 5 monsters on the field at a time 1 defender 3 attackers and 1 supporter, you cant have 2 defenders or 3 supporters ect, the field is set up to only allow 1 defender 3 attackers and 1 supporter
So if the defender can't defend... can it do anything else?

Bullruptor - Kill the attacking monster (does it work like Alomonga?, if it does, then maybe should word them similarly) Not exactly like Alomonga unless the enemy monster has only 200 life then it does die but Bullruptor's ability will kill any monster that attack it no matter the life
Understood, so maybe rephrase Bullruptor to "An enemy attacking this monster is Killed"

(is this current health or max health? If it is max health, does it increase the current health as well?)Yeah its not a healing spell it just further increases all other monsters life by giving them an extra 200 life
Yeah, you should really use "increase max life" to the description

jedite1000
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Thanx for the tips, ill

Thanx for the tips, ill clarify again on some things that seems confusing

The Borroka planet (some planets may need a few name changes, some i like some names i dont) Borroka sounds like a drink :/

Anyway when there is no melee monsters on the field the opponent is free to attack the range monsters if there is any, but if there are 2 melee and 1 range then they must kill the 2 melee first

The bomb token for the elendrall planet is a good idea though ill have to change the bomb to something else as this planet has to do with the elements like all monsters belong to fire, earth, water ect

I changed the name life to health so everything that says life will say health now

I have in play as the phrase but into play sounds better

One of the most confusing is opponent phrasing so yeah ill need to come up with a phrase that targets either the opponent or the opponent's monsters but since i dont think ill have anything that targets the opponent directly i might just say opponent's monster or something that way i can avoid using his or hers or its monsters

So the Alomonga monster it is the opponent's monster that loses the their health.

Increase max health is what ill use for health increases effects but healing a monster is different but dont know how to word it like if your monster had 300 health and lost 100 health i need to word it properly, since some monsters come with a healing effect but heals cannot go passed the the monsters max health that it is healing

As for the defenders they have shield numbers so alomonga has 3 shields and can only defend attacks 3 times and once he uses all his shields he is vulnerable as his heath becomes exposed and the opponent can kill him. or they can choose to avoid the defender and go for the other back monsters instead. Some defender monsters have no effect but can still use the shield so they just act as meat shields and nothing more, the defender monsters with passive effects will always be active and even if the defender uses all their shields the passive effect is still active. As for Alomonga he is an active ability monster so his effect will only work if he uses a shield to defend

So basically there is 3 type of defender monsters
A normal defender
A passive defender
And a active defender

Attacker monsters do not come with effects

and supporters must always have an active effect which is used when using the support ability

kilmor81
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Anyway when there is no melee

Anyway when there is no melee monsters on the field the opponent is free to attack the range monsters if there is any, but if there are 2 melee and 1 range then they must kill the 2 melee first
Ohh... so the idea is you have the Melee monsters protecting the ranged. Then how about "As long as you control Melee monsters, opponents cannot attack ranged monsters."

I have in play as the phrase but into play sounds better
How about "On to the battleground?", into play is boring :p

One of the most confusing is opponent phrasing so yeah ill need to come up with a phrase that targets either the opponent or the opponent's monsters but since i dont think ill have anything that targets the opponent directly i might just say opponent's monster or something that way i can avoid using his or hers or its monsters
Using "opponent" and "opponent's monster" is good enough

So the Alomonga monster it is the opponent's monster that loses the their health.
In that case, you should phrase it as "Any monsters attacking Alomonga loses 200 health after the attack." Do the same thing for Bullruptor, "Any monsters attacking Bullruptor is killed after its attack". Yeah.. should probably add in when the effect happen, before or after or during combat.

Increase max health is what ill use for health increases effects but healing a monster is different but dont know how to word it like if your monster had 300 health and lost 100 health i need to word it properly, since some monsters come with a healing effect but heals cannot go passed the the monsters max health that it is healing
You can just use "Heal a monster up to 300 health". "Heal" be obvious enough to let players know it doesn't go beyond their max health

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