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Need Feedback on Rules.

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Flitterbick
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Joined: 12/09/2013

I am currently working on my first board game. I need your guys feedback on the rules I have made so far. The rules are really rough, but I am hoping they will be good enough to get the point across.

I would be very grateful if anyone could read through the rules and...
1. Let me know if they even make sense, and if you think someone would be able to learn the game from them.
2. If you think the concept itself is even something would be willing to play.
3. I think that I might have made to many rules and therefore complicating the game to much. I am afraid that it is going to discourage people from playing because of the amount of rules. Not only that, but because of the complexity, it often takes people so long to take their turn (like chess) due to the fact they have so much to think about (I am thinking I might need to make multiple game modes that are of different difficulty)
4. Anything else that you think you could help me improve on

Any input would be much appreciated. As I said, this is my first board game, so I am unsure of how complicated things can be, and what you guys think would be "fun."

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1cxsuKTipwYUU5sV1NXa253b2c/edit?usp=sh...

Shoe
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Joined: 12/21/2012
I was lost pretty quickly,

I was lost pretty quickly, the rules start explaining minutea without giving a general theme and mechanical idea of what to expect. After reading the first two pages, I should have a general idea what all of the pieces are, all of the common terms you plan on using (like Gates and Void or whatever), and the super basic high level of what is done in the game and how to win.

anonymousmagic
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Joined: 11/06/2013
I got pretty lost too. And I

I got pretty lost too. And I think it's not because of the game, but how the rules were set up.
You should start by explaining the theme and the goal of the game, then how to set up and move pieces.
Only after that killing pieces and all the minutia should come in. A couple more section headers would also help a lot to make this easier to read.

Flitterbick
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Joined: 12/09/2013
thanks

Thanks guys, I really am bad at organizing these things. I guess I just need to keep on tweaking stuff and hopefully I can eventually get it good enough. I think ill try adding an introduction and stuff like you suggested.

Man...who knew that writing rules for a game could be so difficult xD

...I just thought, is it so screwed up that I might be better off starting from scratch instead of trying to fix things? I feel like if it is that unorganized maybe I would be better off just restarting.

anonymousmagic
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Joined: 11/06/2013
It doesn't hurt to write your

It doesn't hurt to write your new rules with a fresh set of eyes and some new phrases, but why reinvent the wheel?
You have some information, so you might as well use it.

Flitterbick
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Joined: 12/09/2013
I think im on the right track now.

Ok, so I am trying to go about these rules in a different way now. My first time I tried to put all the information down with as little wordiness as possible, but I think that I need to do exactly the opposite. I figure even if the rules do look long, it may be a lot easier to understand when you finish reading them.

I worked on an intro...would anyone mind telling me if I am heading in the right direction.

I am sorry I am so clueless at some of this stuff, but after looking at the same thing for so long, I start to not know what is easy to understand.

Thanks again for the feedback.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10R26vn6lsY_75fLQedQeonVvpDRpJtIDN114...

anonymousmagic
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Joined: 11/06/2013
When you go into detail about

When you go into detail about which pieces are which, make sure you do include their picture.
You've obviously got a rough draft here, because it doesn't explain all the rules yet, but when it comes to structure and clarity, I think you've moved in the right direction. Keep building on this.

Shoe
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Joined: 12/21/2012
Flitterbick wrote:Ok, so I am

Flitterbick wrote:
Ok, so I am trying to go about these rules in a different way now. My first time I tried to put all the information down with as little wordiness as possible, but I think that I need to do exactly the opposite. I figure even if the rules do look long, it may be a lot easier to understand when you finish reading them.

I worked on an intro...would anyone mind telling me if I am heading in the right direction.

I am sorry I am so clueless at some of this stuff, but after looking at the same thing for so long, I start to not know what is easy to understand.

Thanks again for the feedback.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10R26vn6lsY_75fLQedQeonVvpDRpJtIDN1145XJYigg/edit?usp=sharing

So far, so good. that made a world of difference.

Steve
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Joined: 07/29/2008
Feedback on V2 of Rules

Hi Flitterbick and thank you for sharing the rules for your new game.

You asked for feedback on your rules so far and here are my suggestions (based upon the latest version of your rules, not the first version):

1). How many players? It looks as though it is a 2-player game. If that is so, you might want to emphasize that.

2). How many ways to win? I understand that you might want to be thorough with your audience but you might also consider being very concise at the beginning as well. For instance, you could write something to the effect of, "Amalgam is a 2-player game where players capture their opponent's pieces in an attempt to land on their opponent's starting position." From there, the rules could flesh out that statement concerning the Voids, gems and other aspects of the game.

3). What are gems? You introduce the concept of "gems" without defining them as a player's pieces. Yes, a lot of board game players will understand and "read between the lines" but not always.

4). The section called "What is the gameplay like?" feels more like a sales pitch then something that belongs in the rules. You might try to leave this section out in later revisions and see if game testers really miss it or not.

The remainder of the manual reads fairly well beyond that.

Good luck with your game and thanks for providing your rules for us.

Flitterbick
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Joined: 12/09/2013
Thank You

Steve,
Thank you for all of your feedback.
1. You make a good point, I got so caught up with everything else I honestly forgot all about writing that.
2. So do you think I could accomplish this in something like a subtitle?
3. I thought I accomplished this with the
"What pieces do I have?
You start out with two of each Gem. The Gems you have are Amber, Ruby, Pearl, and Jade..."
4. Alright Ill think about taking that out, or maybe even putting it on the back page or something like that.

And thank you so much to everyone for taking your time reading through the rules and giving me your feedback.

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