Realm of Legends [Updated!] - Proofreaders required

Well Tobias this game may seem small but it packs a WHOLE LOT OF STUFF! ;)

I read the rules, you're right 4 pages is not too much. But I'm not sure if I could play the game after reading the rules. Of the top of my mind are a few questions:

1. For clarity in section 1.4 you should explain each Zone in sub points like 1.4.1 Realm, 1.4.2 Tavern, etc.

I'm not sure I understand each Zone... Maybe I would add a diagram with the play area and the different Zones. That might clear up the Zones!

2. In section 1.7 it sounds like Deck-Building. What Zone is this? It says "stacks", how many are there and how do they relate to the play area???

3. In section 2.1 why do Heroes lose all their Mana points? Shouldn't this happen in the End Phase? It's a little bit confusing why *clean-up* doesn't happen in the End Phase.

Also in the Tavern, is this a Deck? It says I can choose a Hero in the Tavern and put it in play. Can I search the Tavern for a specific Hero??? I think Zone explanation may better improve the understanding of the Tavern and how it works.

4. In section 2.2, why not *clean-up* the Mana at the end of this phase??? I think I understand that Mana may be used on your opponent's turn... You should explain this briefly in this section (if TRUE).

5. In section 2.3 you talk about Actions. Maybe you should explain this before section 2.1. So you have 2 Action points unless your Hero entered play - then you only have 1 Action point.

6. In section 3 Move takes 1 AP and Turn ALSO takes 1 AP? It's not clear how Turning relates to Moving. Move seems to indicate you can only move in the direction you are FACING. Otherwise what is the purpose of Turn??? If I am facing RIGHT and want to move UP, doesn't that mean I need to spend 1 AP to TURN LEFT (to face UPWARDS) and then spend 1 AP to MOVE UP???

7. In section 3.5 Guarding is confusing. It says I SAVE 1 AP for later(??) and then it says ALL remaining Actions are LOST??? I thought 1 AP was SAVED?! Somewhat confusing...

8. In section 3.6 Skill cards it states "...these skills do not trigger guarding enemies". Does that mean if I guard, I can still be attacked by a skill? If so, this doesn't sound right. If I reserved 1 AP for later, I should be able to counter a skill in some way... This is a bit strange rule or exception...

9. In section 3.7 Channel Mana it says "Roll dice EQUAL to it's Magic Statistic." But if you read on it say "4, 5 or 6 count as a success and grant 1 Mana point." So isn't it ALWAYS 1d6 you roll??? So the part about rolling a dice equal to your Magic statistic is wrong... Or seems to be.

10. I don't understand section 3.7.1 Fizzle at all. You need to reword this, because I have NO CLUE what it means...

11. In section 3.7.2 Perfect is states if you roll a 6 you get 2 Mana points. But in 3.7 it says you only get ONE... You should clear up this confusion between 3.7 and 3.7.2.

12. In section 3.8 Memorize can I attach MORE THAN ONE spell? If YES, how many? It says the spell will be available for the remaining of the game. Shouldn't it say UNTIL THE HERO DIES?

13. In section 3.9 don't I only have 1 Mana point (MP) or 2 MP (if I rolled a 6)??? Do all spells cost like 1 or 2 MPs???

14. Section 4 is confusing to me. So far not too bad... But you lost me in this section... How does 4.2 Defend relate to 4.3 Counterstrike? Are you defending or counter-striking??? I don't get this at all.

15. Section 4.4 Attack of Opportunity is a normal attack (if he was Guarding). That's understandable.

16. In section 5.1 Attack roll, how many dice do we roll??? It states "Each hit causes one point of damage" and "a result of 4, 5 or 6 counts as a hit". The number of dice we roll is unclear and not stated.

17. In section 5.1.3 Fumble. Again not sure I understand this. You need to explain this differently. Is it if you roll a 1, you lose one of your successful hits???

18. In section 5.1.4 Critical, what is the "Saved against individually" about??? What does this mean???

19. In section 5.2 how many dice does the opponent roll?

20. In section 5.2.1 Fumble, again how does this work?

21. In section 5.3 Damage, you have a TYPO at the end: "As long as a Heroes Health is below its starting Healt". Should be "Health".

22. In section 5.4 it would be best if you EXPLAINED how the Tavern Zone works. It's confusing Face-down, Face-up, is it a deck or what??? Not clear at all.

As always, questccg is on top of things! There's a lot that can be fixed or clarified, and I think I might have some issues that weren't addressed already.... but I'd like to see what you do with your next revision before I come out with any additional critiques, especially since it looks like you have a lot of revisions to make already! I think some of my uncertainties will be cleared up by your next draft :) looking forward to reading it!

Are you absolutely committed to not including the dice or tokens, like you stated in your rules? :P

That's consistently an issue I have with consumer products that do one page useless instructions with a download reference. Though there are a lot of cost factors, from a user perspective it reads cheap when you spend more than ~$20 for something that can't include what I perceive to be pennies worth of extra paper.

Games even more vividly because sometimes one wants to immediately play their impulse purchase.

I think ranking illustrations and examples as needed, useful, or nice to have can help making decisions about what to include versus what could be an online supplement.

As I mentioned earlier, I think your game ideas are COOL...

The sort of games that I would want to play (like Crystal Archons, your CCG and now RofL)!

I took the time to try to see if I could play the game given each section of the rulebook. When I was *moderately* uncertain, I raised it as a flag... so you can review and see if that particular section could be clarified or re-worded.

If I had to THINK about what a section meant - I raised the issue. Instructions need to be dummy proof. Sometimes I could ASSUME what you were trying to say... But then you know what happens: You make an "ASS" out of "U" and "ME"! :P

So if there was any uncertainty, I brought up the point (for revision at the least).

But overall I understood the game. I re-read the rulebook a couple of times before questioning the various sections. So I hope I did help - because I didn't waste my time proofreading the entire rulebook! :)

Let us know when the update will be ready and I will take a look into it!

@corsaire: I agree with him. Don't do a downloadable version and a short version. People don't want to have to go to a website to download the rulebook. What I would suggest is to make the rulebook AVAILABLE for download but also INCLUDE a FULL version with the game.

I know it may bump the game up by $5.00. Trust me it's worth it...