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Feedback Please - Sell Sheet

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let-off studios
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Joined: 02/07/2011

Hello all!

I'm seeking some feedback on a sell sheet I've composed for a prototype I've been working on and hope to show to publishers soon.

Please have a look (it's a single-sheet PDF file) and if you've any critique to share, post it here. Thanks!

www.let-off.com/bgames/scavengers/space-scavengers_nov2017.pdf

MAR
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Joined: 04/23/2017
Initial thoughts

My initial thoughts when viewing your sheet are overall positive. You have a good flyer layout, using lots of "pop" words and phrases. Your images of the gameplay are engaging and display the game nicely. Further, you did a good job with your quick explanation and your contact information as well (of course).

-MAR

questccg
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Joined: 04/16/2011
Some initial thoughts

My first instinct this being a "Space" game, you table's table cloth should be "Black"... The grey makes me think about some "Lunar Base" not "out-there in Space".

I really HATE anything "Pixelated" ... I'm from the old days of 8088's and old PC Games that had only 4 colors. There is a Font called "Space Frigate" which should go for "Space" and "Scavenging". Here is one link:

http://www.pickafont.com/fonts/Space%20Frigate.html

You can Google others, if this one doesn't suit your taste... But some people might like the "too retro" font (like I said I'm not a fan of pixelate anything...)

"By collecting space scrap and alien technology, rescuing alien escape pods, and avoiding as much dangerous radiation as possible, the players just might walk away (fly away?) with the victory!"

I would rewrite without the pun (sounds amateurish):

"By collecting space scrap and alien technology, rescuing alien escape pods, and avoiding as much dangerous radiation as possible, one player might just be victorious!"

Where is the HOOK? What would make me WANT to play this game?? Or HAVE to play this game "at least once"?

Component seems all wrong with the illustration:

- I see 5 cards (in grey) and see no component with 5 cards.

- Have an ORDER. Like "TOP DOWN" which means components in the bullets are "TOP DOWN" in the connecting image. Would make more sense and easier to figure what group is which... I know it sounds not important - all details are.

Your Players, Age and Game time usually use ICONS. You should explore that ... again that pixelated font... Really would prefer to see some nice icons there.

REMOVE the "typical turn" and use this space as the HOOK. Make the game seem RUTHLESS (I think it would be if you are scavenging...)

Features SOUND OKAY - but I'd like to see examples of them in the HOOK.

The ONE place I could tolerate the pixelated font is "Interested?" and your contact information. BUT I would try to "re-align" the question mark to match with "Interested".

Sorry being ruthless - because if it's not a GREAT sell sheet - people will just pass on it and not think twice. I want people to see it and say: "Wow, I'd like to TRY this game..." That's enough. Just TRY. If they have FUN playing - well kudos to you, your job is done...

Cheers!

questccg
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Joined: 04/16/2011
Confirmed!

I will use the previous address for "TradeWorlds"! But I'm going to TRY to have "Outer Limit Games" send it directly to you from the USA.

Thank you for confirming ... since it has been a while (6+ months), I just want to make sure the address is still good.

Best.

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