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Reign: Kickstarter Preview Take Two

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Garage Gamer
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Hey everyone, after the first time I posted my Kickstarter (it took a trashing on here) I have reworked it completely. There is still a substantial amount of work left, but I would love to see what you guys think (especially Soulfinger):

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/garagegamesau/1964766759?token=4b1e...

Soulfinger
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Box art image looks

Box art image looks wonderful. Tag line is great, although I'd rewrite it as a complete sentence and include age range as you do later, "and domination for 3-7 . . ."

Headers are a huge improvement and very female audience friendly.

Nice job clearly presenting details at the start of your "About."

"Then, using their cunning and beguile," latter should be guile. Beguile is what I do to the audience on karaoke night.

"Gain 9 legitimacy [points] . . ." indicate that this is now a game term. Italics or quotation would also work.

Contents presentation is immaculate.

"What Makes . . ." instead of "Why Is Reign Unique?"

"players [must] constantly [renegotiate shifting alliances,]"

"Reign really captures the feel and tension of [a] nobles fighting over a kingdom." delete "a"

". . . you will find yourself on the edge of your seat." Awkward sentence, but maybe find a better way of phrasing it. After all, it's at monster truck rallies where you only use the edge of your seat even though you paid for the whole thing.

"We are very happy with how it turned out, the style and the quality add to the experience immensely." Should be two sentences.

Very good job of making the game sound intriguing. Sounds like a card game version of Diplomacy. I'd try this.

Shipping: "Getting Reign to you as cheep as possible is our top priority." Cute as this sounds, the misspelling only works if you include a picture of a little chick. You want the game to be "affordable," not cheap, as the latter indicates a willingness to skimp on production quality. You "bear" the brunt of the cost.

23 projects backed, so put a check mark on community involvement, but missing photos and single sentence bios of the production team.

Still wouldn't hurt to update your website to reflect the aesthetic improvements made on the KS. Keep it simple. It's fine for your company site not to be much more than a blog if you haven't released this, your first game, yet. Change the color scheme. Red headers on slate gray is fine if you are selling used copies of Gears of War or hosting a forum for biker gangs. White background, plenty of artwork, and translate all of your KS content onto the site.

Lastly, if you can at all make it fit your budget, hire a professional proofreader to go over your rulebook before you ship to backers. You can find a decent editor for as cheap as 1 cent per word. Lack of editing is the number one complaint that I hear from friends who have backed multiple KS projects.

I can't remember everything about your previous KS page, but I can say that this one looks very viable and has a lot of potential. Best of luck, and I wish you well!

(Thank you, by the way, for your interest in my input.)

The Professor
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Play-tested and Played...

GG,

Definitely discuss at some length how many players have play-tested the game and/or the number of hours you've spent refining it. Since you have 15 "special" military cards, you might want to refer to the deck of 60 as "standard" military cards to differentiate them.

Additionally, get the game into the hands of several legitimate reviewers including Radho Runs Through (Richard Ham) and Undead Viking.

Best of luck.

Cheers,
Joe

Orangebeard
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Additional comments

The funding goal of 15K does not match the stretch goals graphic of 10K; do all of the stretch goal amounts need to be reviewed?

Given the stretch goal at 40K, would it make sense to switch the reward for unlocking 60K and 80K; in short, 40 and 60 unlock event cards and 80 unlocks the expansion?

I don't think I would say "We painstakingly made sure that the quality of art in Reign was to the best standards that we could afford."; rather than refer to the cost of producing the artwork, maybe call attention to the way in which the art captures the feel of the game. For example "We worked closely with Starcat Games to ensure the artwork in Reign supports the intense and immersive experience of the game"

I'll try to look again when I have more time...

Good luck with your campaign!

Redcap
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$30 for the game seems a

$30 for the game seems a little steep. I am looking for more than a card game when I put down that much money, but that is just me.

Soulfinger
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Good point about price! I

Good point about price! I didn't blink an eye at $30, since I figured the shtick was full retail but free shipping. Also, because I play a lot of pricey FFG's games -- but I am also consistently impressed with the quality of their components and presentation. Outside of the stretch goal promising to increase the card weight, there is no mention of what exactly the default components are like. It would be nice to see it laid out that these are 275 gsm (100 lb) card stock, what dimensions, glossy or linen finish, what core, # cards, etc. Even better would be to revise that stretch goal from improving the flimsy 275 gsm cards into an upgrade from 300 glossy to 310 linen.

The MSRP of $39 is quite excessive, as this puts you into the realm of boxed games with over 200 cards, cardboard chits, and so forth. $25 is closer to the going rate for this kind of game with equivalent (usually more) contents.

Additional errors seem to be creeping in, like the gameplay video mentioning "extra legitmacy point . . ." I'm still scared that your final product is going to be full of errors.

Are you sure you want to offer a one month guarantee based solely on like? Let's say you get 500 backers and fund. Can you afford to have 100 of those customers send back used merchandise? You may be confident in your game, but I have friends who'd be thrilled to get their money back on 75% of their KS purchases. Buyer remorse is pretty high these days. My experience has been that people are total bastards when it comes to product returns. When my wife and I sold dog collars, we had people return as "new and unused" soiled collars that were heavily used and covered in dog hair. You see it a lot in retail, people buying clothing for an event, only to return it afterwards, etc. I wouldn't be surprised to see people sending back their game because they lost cards, spilled drinks on them, etc. -- but it's not the damage that changed their mind about the game, it's because they suddenly and mysteriously stopped liking the art.

Redcap
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You comments about returning

You comments about returning used product scares the living daylights out of me. I know Kickstarter has changed some of their policies, but how much have they changed? Are people honestly getting full refunds at a drop of a hat like that?

Garage Gamer
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Hey guys! Thanks for the

Hey guys! Thanks for the continuing support and reviews.

So first of all the price: The game is $30 AUD and that converts to $23 USD that's including the free shipping. $39 AUD is only $30 USD. But I believe that you may be right on the MSRP to be closer to $25 USD. The issue comes with the Australian territory. For example, Boss Monster here costs around $40 to $45 AUD at our local game store.

As for the Kickstarter stretch goal: I spotted that too and have someone fixing it up already. That being said, thank you for the continued vigilance.

Artwork: I like the way you said it better Orange, hope you don't mind if I slightly steal the phrasing.

Components: I will add the component specs to the component list.

Errors: The game itself is pretty solid. It has been looked at thoroughly, by both by amateurs and professionals. The KS and video not so much. That is why your input is so valuable.

Money back: Fair points, I talked to the team. We removed it.

Thanks again guys and keep the pain-train coming as it is the only way we are going to make the KS the best we can.

Soulfinger
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Redcap wrote:You comments

Redcap wrote:
You comments about returning used product scares the living daylights out of me. I know Kickstarter has changed some of their policies, but how much have they changed? Are people honestly getting full refunds at a drop of a hat like that?

Sorry, I should have specified that we sold through eBay and then through our distributors overseas. eBay will throw you under the bus every time. Sellers can't leave negative feedback for buyers anymore, and buyers have three levels of protection for getting refunds, first through eBay, then through PayPal, and then through their CC company. eBay offers buyers an unconditional money back guarantee, so even if your listing says, "No refunds," the buyer can get their money back, quite possibly without ever returning the item in question. It's a damn nightmare when you have overseas customers complaining that their 2-4 week delivery package hasn't arrived via golden parachute within a couple days, domestic customers freaking out because the package on their front porch "hasn't arrived yet," and then the outright scammers who realized that they can get free product. Most buyers have a complete disconnect from how the selling process works, what postal rates are like, how mail delivery works, and so forth.

The issue is knowing your target demographic. We gradually shifted our business model from $14 dog collars to $40+ to reconfigure the demographic we were selling to. Making more money from less sales resolved some labor issues and helped us to streamline our business model, but mostly it was about selling to boutique clientele rather than people with the Walmart style of customer service, clients who couldn't appreciate the added value of buying handmade goods directly from the artisan (much like some of my wife's original artwork clients, who couldn't fathom that what they'd bought wasn't a print). Those clients were already feeling screwed paying more than the drastically inferior $7 collars at Walmart, so we realized it was better to shy away from those relationships as they were dissatisfied before they'd even placed the order. We were on our way toward a nothing under $100 inventory when things were derailed by the birth of our medically fragile daughter.

That's why I'd never launch a KS campaign for a party game or anything with mass market appeal and bleed over into traditional (non-gamer) markets -- at least, not for fun. 100% customer satisfaction is so integral to our society at this point that people feel entitled to receive a refund over the smallest quibble. Games look like an enjoyable market at this grass roots level, because frankly, even the bitchiest gamer is more manageable and compliant than the average mass market client. One of the guys who worked a booth at GenCon with me was stupefied at how "you just have to point at these guys, and they come over." There is a courteousness that seems to permeate the customer base, a desire to please and think the best of others, which really works out when the vendor can reciprocate with a genuine interest in the game and its players.

Garage Gamer wrote:
So first of all the price: The game is $30 AUD and that converts to $23 USD that's including the free shipping. $39 AUD is only $30 USD. But I believe that you may be right on the MSRP to be closer to $25 USD. The issue comes with the Australian territory. For example, Boss Monster here costs around $40 to $45 AUD at our local game store.

That makes total sense. I am sorry that living on an isolated landmass makes your money ridiculous.

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