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Last minute review request for my kickstarter

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OgreFoot
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Joined: 01/20/2017

Hello everyone,

I am in the final stages of preparing my kickstarter campaign and I am looking for feedback on the presentation. I realize I am still missing a couple pieces and have place holders in there but I should have everything tomorrow and I am planning on a Friday launch.

I am seeking feedback about the organization and the "prettiness" of the campaign. Of course, if there are terrible grammatical errors you can tell me about those as well. :)

Thank you in advance for your time.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2wolvesgames/1355196425?token=2eae2321

Mike

Squinshee
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Joined: 10/17/2012
There isn't nearly enough

There isn't nearly enough information about the game. The story, lore, mechanics, etc. The first thing you discuss is how it has been playtested a bunch, which shouldn't be at the top, or maybe even at all.

questccg
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Joined: 04/16/2011
Voice over is lousy

Just my opinion -- but I really don't like the VOICE OVER. It sounds like a Brooklyn murderer or some other vandal. Nothing like a God-like voice...

Without a proper REVIEW, it's also going to be difficult to attract people to the game. Most "B" rated KS campaigns usually at least FEATURE other reviewers even if they are less well-known.

I know you "explaining" to Zee Garcia about the game seems impressive ... it is not. You would have been best to follow up with that encounter and ask Zee to do a KS preview. I know Tom Vasal doesn't do them... But maybe because Zee had seen the game before, he might consider doing you a small but friendly gesture and getting a Preview done by him... IDK. Just saying.

Maybe if you don't rush things -- you can still ask Zee to do a KS Preview... That might help a little bit.

The reward tiers seem a little ODD. Why the gap between $29 and $149??? Seems way too high. If you want to give an early release version, I would maybe cap it at $49... Something more realistic. OR am I just confused at what it is you are giving for $149?! You want people to BUY your PROTOTYPES??? I'm confused with this reward tier...

That's my input... I hope this helps in some way...!?

Glass shoe games
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Joined: 02/28/2017
The video is cool but the

The video is cool but the voice over is very odd. Also it shows 0 of what the game actually is and left me confused.

The first image with the 3 texts boxes are super bland and boring. If your going this route the text is supposed to be centered not too justified.

You never start a campaign with how much you played it. If it's on kickstarter most people would imagine you played it and tested it a lot.

It also seems very unfinished. It's hard to give more feedback when 75% of the campaign is missing.

Demolitionist75
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Joined: 07/05/2017
Improvements are possible

You're relying way too much on external videos and write next to none about your game yourself. Maybe I am not the perfect example, but I like to be impressed with the project page. I want a good structured, beautifully crafted landing page so that I get the feeling that I am thoroughly informed about the game. Write more of gameplay, components, background and use bulleted lists, paragraphs, headings for readability.

Second, I think your artwork is beautifully drawn. BUT: the graphic design of the campaign images is subpar. The worst thing that can happen is that people transfer this kind of design (which feels rushed) subliminally on the game and won't give it a chance.

OgreFoot
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Joined: 01/20/2017
Fantastic Feedback. I have made modifications.

It looks a lot better and is better organized. Thank you so much!

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