Hello, and take a look!

I'll be...very honest here.

The first thing I saw when I got to the site was that the video said nothing about the gameplay. That was a big red flag. It's a story about a troll stealing gold from the endless bounties of the dwarf kingdom...there's no real danger except "hey, give us back the gold that we have tons of".

There's a very huge Lord of the Rings vibe when I saw the video and when I saw the video, I was hoping for a game that was far more epic than a troll stealing gold. In fact, I didn't even know if it was a video or board game until I saw the box at the end of the video. These are things that should have been mentioned at the start of the video.

Hook is not strong enough. The story is just...not appealing. If I'm to play dwarves, I want to be in some epic battle where I have to fight for my home or get out of a very sticky situation. There's no real motivation here besides, "we want our gold back".

I don't know who you are. Many Kickstarters are fueled by people's reputation and if you have no reputation, then you're climbing an uphill battle. I've tossed around the idea of doing a Kickstarter for my game, but since no one knows who I am in the industry, I knew it would be harder just to get my name out there...much less try and sell something. Had your hook been stronger, it would have been different, but again, your hook isn't strong enough.

Initial board impressions are not good. You have an 18x18 board that's empty. No real terrain, no real obstacles. It looks...unfinished. This game doesn't feel exciting.

You're basically begging people for money to make your game. People on KS are looking for something that's different. Yeah, this is different, but this doesn't feel different enough. Remember, you're competing against other Kickstarters with stronger hooks, better reputations, better looking gameplay.

Here are Kickstarters that I've backed:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gerdling/two-rooms-and-a-boom/descr...

Two Rooms and a Boom are from two guys that aren't known, but the hook to their game and their enthusiasm is what made me back it. They go into the gameplay just 30 seconds into the video, which was presented cleanly and wwas unique and funny.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/less/less-like-chess-but-less?ref=n...

"Less" immediately tells me why their game is appealing. By the 30 second mark, the video has already told me what makes this game different. It's brilliant. I don't know the guy or his reputation, but his hook is real strong. It sells on its brevity and its portability. It then tells you it's easy to play, has a lot of strategy, and the maps are interchangeable.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2081578473/pillars-of-eternity-lord...

Pillars of Eternity Card Game is built on the reputation of Obsidian Entertainment and the success of their critically acclaimed PC title Pillars of Eternity. Add that I know the designer, Chris Taylor (he's released many board games I know and love) personally, this campaign was an instant success.

If I'm to pay $49 for a product, there's got to me more than just an empty cave and some spaces where gold is at. I wouldn't feel like I got my money's worth. I'm paying $13 for the "Less" game and I feel like I'm getting far more mileage out of that game.

tl;dr If I were to boil it down to three things it would be these three:

-No reputation. No one knows who you are. therefore you're climbing an uphill battle for backers.
-Hook is not strong enough. The game doesn't pull me in and to be honest, the story is weak and doesn't feel epic, considering The Hobbit movies have been totally epic. $20 for an epic story on DVD as opposed to a weak story for $49.
-Board is boring. Make a modular board, give more game modes, give me something more than just "grab the loot".

If you're desperate to make your KS successful, here are my suggestions:

-Modular board. Give more gameplay than just 1 cave. For $49, I want something unique. Make the maps interchangeable.
-Variants...more game! What if it's 2 trolls? What if it's 2 trolls and you have to pass through the cave in order to win the game?
-Build your reputation. Do a blog, video series, something to get yourself out there. People don't like beggars, but if you show worth, you can build an audience. It may be too late too do that, but if you decide to do it again, I would go this route. I'm about to release my first game through a publisher. I'm far more confident I would have a successful Kickstarter in the future because my company has had successful Kickstarters and I've already released a game that (hopefully) is good.

I know there's trend where reviewers get paid to do "good" reviews on Kickstarters. While that uses more reputable people to build your product, I just wasn't convinced. One reviewer said your game was "light". Really? 20-40 minutes a light game? Totally contradictory.

I'm sorry if it looks like I'm going off, but if I didn't care, I wouldn't have made this post.

I don't think people see that Kickstarter runs on people's disposable income. Many times people don't have a lot of disposable income so whatever they invest in goes under a lot of scrutiny. For people that run Kickstarters, they don't realize that how you present your idea is like 90% of how you're going to convince people to fund you.

You almost have to align the stars to make a successful campaign. You have to have a fairly well put together idea; something that people want and is unique. You have to be able to spread your idea (having an online presence helps). If you have a game, it has to be pretty much done and all the manufacturing channels solidified.

There's so much to Kickstarter that people don't know. When I researched Kickstarter, I backed away from it; I won't even attempt that until I know I can do it right.

Maybe you can bridge the gap with a more affordable pledge level that brings something unique to a $10 backer? Something personalized that thanks them for their support, even though they won't receive a copy of the game?

Will you have extra copies of cards or game bits that you can offer someone who can only afford to chip in that $10?

Not to be too offensive - but that type of board looks boring. It reminds me of the MtG Board Game (http://s3.gatheringmagic.com.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2014/10/16/mtggs2-...)

In my opinion, it's also not innovative enough...

Compare this to "Golem Arcana" and you can see how such a board game differentiates itself. (https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/146725/golem-arcana) or YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xL1yEm2LZ8).

"Golem Arcana" has set the standard very HIGH for a Miniatures game... It pays to see what other miniature games are out there.

Note: as Tom puts it "it might be a little light for Miniatures players"... But I think it sets the standard pretty high for those "in-between" genres!

Update: Here is another Kickstarter with Miniatures that ALSO sets the bar pretty high (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1596689756/arena-rex-gladiator-comb...) This is your DIRECT competition...

There are...many things you have to consider. 20 minutes IS NOT a filler game, imo.

You have to adjust your vision to what is appropriate to the market. $49 for what's advertised as a "filler game" is contradictory. $49 should get me a nice, meaty game with all the fixins.

I am a team of 1 for my game. I knew I couldn't do it on my own, so I went to conventions, made TONS of prototypes, talked and pitched to people from students to employees at Fantasy Flight Games. I found my own connections. I've also sought out knowledge. Not only have I been playing games my whole life, my degree is is Game Art and Design, I worked in the video game industry on many AAA titles since 2003, I've worked AT a board game company just to get to know the practical process of making a game, I've been teaching game theory and game design at the college level since 2010, and even then I was careful...asked a lot of advice, got the help I needed.

And now I'm releasing my first game. From conception to release has been less than a year. Didn't use Kickstarter, IndieGoGo, or any crowd funding. I know my weaknesses, no one knows me in the board game industry as a designer and I'm NOT a businessman.

I'm not saying I know everything. I'm just saying I got of experience both as a consumer and as a developer BEFORE I even attempted to make my own game.

Your game has BIG holes (plain map, no gameplay in the video, no reason why we should get this game). Impractical holes ($49 for a filler game?). I gave you my reasons and solutions (as well as others here), you should take them to heart.

I do have to remind you that I'm operating on this quote

I'm being completely honest here. I've given very valid reasons why I think this way and I've even offered solutions. Why you're arguing with me is baffling.

This thread, surprisingly, is treading in dangerous waters. Everybody back to their side of the pool, please.

I can confidently say that I wasn't "hurt" by someone, as you assume. Yes, my game has "humans", it's in space, it's fighting, but I realize it and I admit it. You didn't. You're arguing with me that your story has no relation to The Hobbit and not only do I tell you it does, I gave you why I think that way. I said it was lifted from The Hobbit cause it was clear you didn't see my point.

Your last response was this:

Of course I'm going to push the point. Now, from your last response I see you see it.

If you're butthurt by my responses, then maybe you shouldn't have said, "Don't hold anything back".

But you know what? Maybe my jabbing should hurt. It's YOUR campaign that's not doing well and you're the one asking why. And I'm not the only one saying the same things, I've just posted more:

Like I said and I've always said, good luck with your campaign. I hate it when people open themselves to criticism and then they argue that you're too hard.

Just take it. You asked for it.

I'll admit I'm a bit hard on people.

I understand that there are people here that are looking for help and I understand that. But as a college instructor, I'm very blunt about people's works. If I say it's terrible, I say why, then I make it a point to give some solutions to the problem.

I know it may sound harsh, but I really want to help your campaign, grogbro. I'm a little frustrated because the ball is already rolling and at this point, there's not much you can do to make the necessary changes. I mean, it's still possible to pull through, but that's why I went all crazy on you.

Again, I apologize for going off, it's more of a knee-jerk reaction. I'm sorry that you've put in all this work and it's not coming through. It's a frustration many Kickstarters have and I can almost see their distraught faces when they post here or in other places.

I hope you can find your solutions, grogbro.

Constructive criticism incoming.

The others have said a lot about bang-for-buck, and how you should have extensions, I'll talk about something else.

I just read through your rules.
The actual game seems better than what the video implies. The video tells a story, but your product is a game. You really need to

A. spend more time talking about gameplay.
B. link the story to the gameplay.

Your story isn't bad, but it needs to be told better. The story of entering the monster's lair is a classic, but it needs to have a few twists, and those twists are present in your game.

First off, tell the story of how terrible the troll is. The troll wields a club as heavy as three dwarves combined. The troll regrows lost limbs. The troll is absolutely huge. In fact, it's so big, no dwarf has ever seen it's face. All the dwarves ever see is the great club swinging through and the terrible feet crushing down. In fact, it's the last thing many dwarves see. All the dwarves are terrified of the troll.

Then tell how the king is nursing his wounds, and sort of obsessed with the troll. The king assembles a party of stout dwarves to get revenge. All the dwarves plead him to reconsider, to not send their best to wanton deaths. Unbeknownst to the common dwarves, the king has a plan. A plan to stop those terrible feet in it's tracks.

Then, you follow up with gameplay description, on how the troll can kill dwarves with 1 hit of the club, and how it can crush dwarves by simply walking over them.

Then you tell how the dwarves have forged giant barbed spears of cold iron that will pin the troll's feet down, even if it means the speardwarves sacrificing their lives. etc.

Also, your blurb is :

HOARDERS is a competitive 2-3 player board game that plays in about 20-40 minutes. Dwarves must recover their Relic from a huge Troll.

really, it should be:

HOARDERS is an objective-based asymmetric tactical board game for 2-3 players where a squad of courageous dwarves battle an unstoppable troll for their long-lost Relic.
(I need to think about the relic part.)

The game is not competitive, and 40 minutes is not a popular mark.

Also, I don't really like the troll artwork. Too cartoony for dark fantasy, too dark for cartoony pictures.

Honestly, the two big things that would keep me away from backing this are:

1 - reputation: You don't include links or indicate any other games you've made already. I've gotten burned by games with minis before, especially with your really aggressive production timeline. I've backed games that are just a deck of cards that have longer production schedules.

2 - Weight vs. price: reading the rules, this is clearly a filler game. (I think 20-40 minutes is just right for a filler), but as radioactivemouse said, for $50, I want a meaty meaty game. At $30, this might be more reasonable.

So could you make this game for $30? What if you had a bunch of tiles rather than a board? This would reduce shipping size (a stack of tiles vs a board) and give a modular play space. What if you had round tokens for the dwarves and two feet tokens for the troll? Cardboard chits would get you much of the way there. You could also consider standees for the dwarves.

Then the minis could be an add-on.

Just some thoughts.