GodSlayer Wars
At the dawn of creation the GodKing Aephos and the Twelve Lesser Gods threw down the Nameless Ones and crafted a new realm out of the void using the Cosmic Loom. This new realm was constantly shifting and flowing with the whims of the Twelve, each attempting to shape the world so that they could gain in power. The GodKing Aephos grew weary of this and smashed the Cosmic Loom into 5 pieces and cast them down to the world, causing the world to solidify. He then created mankind and provided for them a place to dwell in this new world, and protected them.
Man was thankful and worshiped the GodKing Aephos. Many of the Twelve grew jealous for they were not worshiped in this new world, and soon became resentful of Aephos for destroying the Cosmic Loom, and for taking more joy in man than in their company. Aephos was betrayed and attacked, and the first GodSlayer War began.
The GodKing was mighty, and while Aephos and his allies were out numbered, they yet defeated and utterly destroyed many of their attackers, but in doing so the GodKing Aephos was mortally wounded and without the Cosmic Loom he was also destroyed, leaving behind only six of the Lesser Gods.
Thus began the age of man, during the First Cycle. After the destruction of the GodKing and the Cosmic Loom, the remaining six gods grew weak, dependant on the prayers and worship of man to influence the world. Changes to the world were slow, taking many years to alter a river’s course, or to build up mountains to tower above the fields and plains. It was this way for Eons without counting, the gods making their slow changes to the world while being dependant on humanity for the power to do so.
Then one day a man discovered one of the pieces of the Cosmic Loom and built a temple around it, in dedication to Delios, one of the gods who stood with GodKing Aephos during the GodSlayer War.
Delios grew in power as more people worshiped him at the new temple. Soon he was much more powerful than any of the other five gods.
Seeing that they had to do something or lose the balance that they had enjoyed for so long they banded together and started the Second GodSlayer War. This war caused a cataclysm that had not been seen before, and the whole world trembled. After many years of war, humanity was at the brink of extinction. Delios, who had come to love man saw that the war must be ended for their sake, and sacrificed himself, destroying his temple and burying the Cosmic Loom again.
The land fell silent and still, the great Second GodSlayer War was over. The Second Cycle had begun. Humanity survived, and even thrived, and remembering the cause of the GodSlayer War, they built 5 massive temples, one dedicated to each of the remaining 5 Gods.
Yet the end of this peaceful Second Cycle is near. The Gods have discovered that they can produce Avatars, heroes with the ability to be linked with a God and wield power over the world. The pieces of the Cosmic Loom can be recovered, temples and their worshipers can be converted, and the land can be conquered in their names.
Each God has begun preparing Avatars to wage another GodSlayer War. The Third GodSlayer war is about to begin to determine who rules as the GodKing of the Third Cycle.
Who will be victorious in THE GODSLAYER WARS?
08/13/12 - Mentioned to a co-worker that I had a interesting idea for a board and card hybrid type of game, which I had been thinking of for at least 4 or 5 years. He mentioned this and boardgamegeeks.com and I looked both sites up. He also was happy to bounce some ideas off of and said he appreciated war games with multiple ways to win.
08/20/12 - I came up with a combat system that as far as I can tell is unique and still fast paced enough to allow for multiple combats per turn and allows for the cards and unit types to play dynamic roles. I also started working on 4 interlocking game systems that allow for 4 objectives for the game. All of the terms for all game systems are very generic and I might want to come up with flasher or cooler names for the systems.
08/21/12 - After another conversation with my co-worker I made some changes to the overall systems and individual objectives so that they are all more or less the same difficulty. I also was finally able to get accepted on BGDF and set up my new password and logged in instead of just reading posts.
08/22/12 - Started this journal
08/25/12 - After some playtesting with my daughter I figured out a better way to handle combat, and after talking to Alan my co-worker I may combine the resources from two game systems into 1 system and quicken the time for each turn as well as more closely tie two of the four game winning objectives together.
09/08/12 - added lore to the top of this journal so that it can be edited on the go and not add more comments below for every update to it. Took Robinson's advice to edit the text with some changes and made some of my own towards the bottom.
09/16/12 - haven't done much on this game, been playing lots of pc and xbox games. I need to sit down and make a database or spreadsheet of possible effects to add in for all the units, spells, abilities, gear, ect ect so that I can start to try and balance out the gods and avatars, but the task itself is intimidating me some. I will start on it soon though, this idea is too good to pass up.
journal updated
I will continue to update the journal with my progress. I was surprised how I didn't get any replies to my 'hello world' post but that's fine, hopefully I will still be able to get some feedback and I still enjoy reading the other posts.
re: hello world
I wonder if the reason you didn't get a lot of response to your initial post was because you didn't ask a specific question? I'm fairly new to the site myself, so it is just a thought. I'm going to post my official intro (a little late) and try to include a question in it, so we'll see if that makes a difference.
History/Lore of GodSlayer War
08/22/12 - copy/paste from one of my documents on the lore of my game. Hopefully I can get some feedback on this and really smooth it out some.
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GodSlayer Wars
At the dawn of creation the GodKing Aephos and the Twelve Lesser Gods threw down the Nameless Ones and crafted a new realm with the fragmented shards of the shattered void. This new realm was constantly shifting and flowing with the whims of the Twelve, each attempting to shape the world so that they could gain in power. The GodKing Aephos grew weary of this and smashed the Cosmic Loom into 5 pieces and cast them down to the world, causing the world to solidify. He then created mankind and provided for them a place to dwell in this new world, and protected them.
Man was thankful and worshiped the GodKing Aephos. Many of the Twelve grew jealous for they were not worshiped in this new world, and soon became resentful of Aephos for destroying the Cosmic Loom, and for taking more joy in man than in their company. Aephos was betrayed and attacked, and the first GodSlayer War began. Aephos was defeated and utterly destroyed, but the GodKing Aephos was a mighty warrior and slew many of his attackers, destroying them completely as well.
Thus began the age of man, during the First Cycle. After the destruction of the GodKing and the Cosmic Loom, the remaining six gods grew weak, dependant on the prayers and worship of man to influence the world. Changes to the world were slow, taking many years to alter a river’s course, or to build up mountains to tower above the fields and plains. It was this way for Eons without counting, the gods making their slow changes to the world while being dependant on humanity for the power to do so.
Then one day a man discovered one of the pieces of the Cosmic Loom and built a temple around it, in dedication to Delios, one of the gods who stood with GodKing Aephos during the GodStrife War.
Delios grew in power as more people worshiped him at the new temple. Soon he was much more powerful than any of the other five gods.
Seeing that they had to do something or lose the balance that they had enjoyed for so long they banded together and started another GodSlayer War. This war caused a cataclysm that had not been seen before, and the whole world trembled. After many years of war, humanity was at the brink of extinction. Delios, who had come to love man saw that the war must be ended for their sake, and sacrificed himself, destroying his temple and burying the cosmic loom again.
The land fell silent and still, the great second GodSlayer War was over. The Second Cycle had begun. Humanity survived, and even thrived, and remembering the cause of the GodSlayer War, they built 5 massive temples, one dedicated to each of the remaining 5 Gods.
Yet the end of this peaceful Second Cycle is near. The Gods have discovered that they can produce Avatars, heroes with the ability to be linked with a God and wield power over the world. The pieces of the Cosmic Loom can be recovered, and the temples of rival Gods can be claimed as their own.
Each God has begun preparing Avatars to wage another GodSlayer War. The Third Cycle is about to begin.
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Rough idea of Gods:
Xeres God of Scholars (and knower of dark knowledge)
Ryvn Goddess of Nature (relentless and rampant growth)
Doan God of War (valorious and passionate)
Celes Goddess of Music (and manipulation, vain)
Keiv God of Destruction (and harvest, reaper of souls)
Each God will have positive and negative attributes.
mythology
You've definitely put a lot of thought into this, it sounds like an interesting mythology. You said you wanted to smooth out the text, I noticed a few small editorial things, feel free to ignore them.
First paragraph
1) Perhaps it is being pedantic, but how can you have a shard of a void, which is nothingness? I've seen similar phrasing in some books, so if you like it, that's fine, it just always strikes me as odd. Shaping the void into something is still pretty godlike.
2) A wording suggestion, "fragmented shards of the shattered" - you probably don't need to say it is shattered after telling us they are fragmented shards, or you could drop shards, it just seems a little repetitious.
3) Introduce the Cosmic Loom at the end of the second sentence. For example "crafted a new realm with the fragmented shards of the shattered void using the Cosmic Loom." That way the reader knows why smashing the loom matters later on in the paragraph.
Second paragraph
The chronology is that Aephos kills some of the traitors, but is eventually overcome, but you start with him dying, but wait he took some of those jerks with him. Does it sound more epic to flip the last sentence around to show how powerful he was, but that he eventually falls? For example:
"The GodKing Aephos was a mighty warrior and slew many of his attackers, destroying them completely. However even he could not stand against so many gods and he was eventually defeated and utterly destroyed."
I hope you find this helpful and I look forward to seeing the game itself on the site as you refine it.
Robinson wrote:You've
First paragraph
**SNIP**
I hope you find this helpful and I look forward to seeing the game itself on the site as you refine it.
Wow! Thanks, this helps a bunch. Going to try to work in your suggestions now.
Awesome, its cool to see a
Awesome, its cool to see a deeply thought out, fun theme. I haven't even come up with a theme for my own game haha