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Looking for names of struggling businesses

8 replies [Last post]
Joined: 09/15/2013

I'm working on a light arson-themed game & need six names for struggling small businesses that might be candidates for arson. I'm pretty happy with Vinyl Forever Records, Finnegan's Authentic Italian Restaurant, and Klunker's Used Cars, though if anyone has a different name that's even more obviously Irish & shorter than Finnegan's, that would be good too. I'm looking for three other names in the same vein. I've been using, but don't particularly like, Away-Kwik Travel Agency, Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe (I know it's not original), and First City Bank (boring). Any ideas? Three of my businesses are supposed to be more valuable than the other three, so law firm & bank names would be useful. Thanks for any suggestions!

chris_mancini's picture
Joined: 05/01/2015
Mrs. Tick's Used

Mrs. Tick's Used Pets

Encyclopedias Encyclopedias Encyclopedias

Thaitanic (restaurant)

Law Offices of Burnett, Downs and Quick

Wells Fargone


polyobsessive's picture
Joined: 12/11/2015

I'm not very good at coming up with names like these, but I love the ones you and Chris have come up with so far.

If you want something very obviously and stereotypically Irish, you could go for O'Something. Good ones could be O'Malley, O'Flaherty, or O'Deery.

Rimmsolin's picture
Joined: 12/13/2013
"Law Offices of Burnett,

"Law Offices of Burnett, Downs and Quick"


Tedthebug's picture
Joined: 01/17/2016
Maybe Byte me (


Byte me ( computing)
Well Hung (chandelier company)
Down &Out (duck down outdoor clothing store)
Red Hot Poker Machines
Oh Wooden it be lovely - custom woodwork
Tom Foolery's Joke & Party Shop
Doesn't that take the Cake - home delivered baked goods
Maid for You - cleaning service

Squinshee's picture
Joined: 10/17/2012
Where's Soulfinger when you

Where's Soulfinger when you need him?!

Soulfinger's picture
Joined: 01/06/2015
Squinshee wrote:Where's

Squinshee wrote:
Where's Soulfinger when you need him?!

Dr. Brown's Discount Proctology
Nocturnal Emissions Gentleman's Muffler Repair
Pray 'n' Spray Charismatic Car Wash
Post Traumatic Streusel Deli
Pets by the Pound
One Snip, Many Pricks Circumcision and Acupuncture Clinic
The Literal Flea Market
Randy's Figurative Photography
First Metaphysical Bank
Deejay Dojo's Rave Kwan Do Studio
Bubba's Tantric Nursing Home
Dude's Bait and Sushi (old BBS from 25+ years ago)
Wigs and Wags, Disguised Pets
Healing Laughter, Clown Doula
Legitimate North Korean Retail Outlet
Body Shame Fashion Outlet
Forever Single Hobby Game Store
Angie's Custom Poetry Emporium
Rehab Bed and Breakfast
Do It Yourself Barbershop
Self Storage Waste Disposal
Big Duck's Booze House
Grandma Fresh Jam Company

Alternately, each Bob's Burgers intro features a bad business:

A Round Tuit
A Round Tuit's picture
Joined: 01/21/2016
I knew my list would come in handy!

Adventure Capitalist, LLC
Bingo Ranch, where the elderly are put out to pasture.
Diddly's Squat, Bar & Grill
Fauxlice, Private Investigators
Freud Chicken, Therapist & Eatery
The Hospital For Unwise Ingestions
Lawn Order / Lawn Enforcement
Monetary Confinement, Loan Office
Nerds of Steel, Internet Cafe & Gym
OCD Compliance Agency
Pacquiao Bags, Totes, purses and luggage by Manny Pacquiao
Papa Clutch, Auto Repair
Tortfeasor Legal Counsel

Joined: 09/15/2013
Thanks, these are hilarious!


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