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[Cold War] Rulebook v0.6 for proofreading

12 replies [Last post]
Thu, 02/25/2016 - 17:53
krialf
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Greatly appreciate if someone would like to have a read through my rulebook (google drive link below).

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3sIY2ARLk1SNjFxLXVmVjBsRGM/view?usp=sh...

Appreciate all feedback; spelling/grammar/layout etc. etc. Basically any feedback you might have.

Note: cover art is missing, and some other smaller art pieces here and there.

Also got a thread on BGDF: http://www.bgdf.com/forum/game-creation/playtesting/playtesters-wanted-s...

And a WIP page on BGG: https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1511304/wip-cold-war-strategy-card-game

Sadly not taking any new play testers at the moment, but please send me a pm if you'd be interested on receiving the next version.

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Thu, 02/25/2016 - 18:46
#1
polyobsessive
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Cool

I've just downloaded the rules. I'll plan to give you some notes over the next day or two, if that's OK.

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 04:10
#2
krialf
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Thanks!

Nice, yes, feel free to use as long as you like, appreciate any notes/comments you might have...

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 05:44
#3
Arcuate
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I'd be happy to have a look.

I'd be happy to have a look. How close to final are these rules? Do you want to worry about commas and so on or mostly clarity of expression?

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 06:57
#4
krialf
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Joined: 11/21/2015
Thanks!

Hi Arcuate,

I got you written down as one of the interested blind play testing recipients.
It is quite expensive to order copies of the game for play testers, and the other groups contacted me some time before you did I'm afraid. However, if you're still interested I could send you the next version (v0.7).

The rules are not 100% set, but they work very well the way I tried to convey them in the rulebook.
If you've got any big structural change suggestions, please don't hesistate relaying them to me.

But also; grammar/commas/text errors - and clarity/layout/design suggestions...

Thanks,
Kristian

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 09:55
#5
Arcuate
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Joined: 02/05/2016
Maybe stay blind?

I'd be keen to be in whatever round of playtesting suits your needs. I like the theme and have played a lot of different games over the years, so I might have useful feedback.

I haven't read the rules yet. Perhaps it would be better to keep me "blind", do you think? Then I could give you feedback on how the game works at the level of open-it-and-play-it-straight-away. If I have time to digest the rules first I may miss points of potential initial confusion.

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 10:23
#6
Fletch
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Joined: 02/20/2016
Grammar and stuff

Page 2:
You take --> Take
This should be in the imperative tense like the rest of the paragraph.

Devestations --> Devastations

Repopulate and educate your citizens --> Repopulate your country, educate your citizens
As it stands now, you are implying that you repopulate your citizens, which doesn't really make sense.

Support a military force, and --> Remove redundant comma

Penetrate --> penetrating

Defen --> defense/defence (US/UK)

First player --> The first player

win --> wins

Example card page:
I think you need titles citizen card and infrastructure card.

Detailed turn description (page 7):
Have --> has

A lot of places:
From hand --> from your hand

Populate ( page 8):
Return citizens to --> return citizens from your board to (just for clarity)

Same thing for infrastructure cards, and a few times later.

Page 9:
Loose --> lose

Page 10:
I think the 'attacking players' needs more clarification.

The attacking player's cards should be turned the right way up, so they can be read.

Attacking / Active player --> The attacking/active player

Page 13:
Untill --> Until

Have --> has

Page 15:
Does --> do

Loose --> lose

There's my two cents.

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Fri, 02/26/2016 - 10:56
#7
krialf
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Joined: 11/21/2015
Excellent, thanks!

Thanks a lot, I'll fix it.
Any thoughts on the flow of the rules, is it easy to grasp the rules and the concept of the game, how could that be improved?

Also, excellent idea @Arcuate, let's keep you "blind" :-)

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Mon, 02/29/2016 - 18:17
#8
polyobsessive
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Notes on the way.

I've just PM'ed you some notes. Hope they help.

Rob

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Tue, 03/01/2016 - 05:05
#9
krialf
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Joined: 11/21/2015
Great help! Thanks

I'll update the rulebook following your correction, and upload the new version as soon as possible.

Quick question: do you think the illustrations and examples were clear? Do you get the gist of the game, and how it's played?

Cheers,
Kristian

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Tue, 03/01/2016 - 05:35
#10
polyobsessive
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:)

krialf wrote:
Quick question: do you think the illustrations and examples were clear? Do you get the gist of the game, and how it's played?

I think I have a decent idea of how the game works. I can't be sure though until I actually try playing!

The examples and illustrations seem reasonable to me. The use of icons in the text makes it a little harder to read at first, but I think ties everything together so that the icons in the rules correspond to those on the cards and you don't have to translate in your head between words and icons.

What I like most about this rulebook is how you have broken the game into small chunks and spaced everything out. And you weren't afraid to repeat information where it is relevant. You could have written the rules in half the space, but it would have been harder to read and understand, so I'm glad you didn't.

It probably needs a few more passes of proofreading, and hopefully your blind testing should help find the rules that are less clear, but I think you are well on the way to a very good rulebook here.

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Wed, 03/02/2016 - 16:39
#11
krialf
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Joined: 11/21/2015
Updated rulebook with your corrections + added art/background

I've updated the rulebook - fixed spelling errors, added some suggested art/background.

Would appreciate any (positive and negative) feedback and/or opinion on the text/layout/design.

Can be downloaded from google drive (big file - 288mb):
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3sIY2ARLk1SQ2l5b1RDY1BPVmM/view?usp=sh...

Or viewed as an Imgur album:
http://imgur.com/a/qf7z7

Cheers, and again thanks for the feedback on the previous edition.

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Sat, 05/07/2016 - 04:04
#12
krialf
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Joined: 11/21/2015
Revised and reworked Cold War rulebook

Hi,

Just finished the v0.75 rulebook draft for the board game Cold War.

Removed a lot of the "fancy" background and art - and tried following my play testers suggestions and comments to make the rules as comprehensible as possible.

Would really appreciate feedback from you guys.

Rulebook can be downloaded from here:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3sIY2ARLk1ScHF0OEsyQ3hHYjg/view?usp=sh...

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