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May I have some feedback/help with my imminent Kickstarter launch?

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Fancy Squid Games
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Hi all. I’m very excited as I’ve finally worked up the nerve to launch my first Kickstarter. I picked a really easy one of my games (cards only) to make it as painless as possible. The launch date is Friday (Halloween to fit with the game’s theme) so I still have a few days to make any final adjustments. I’d like to as if any of you have any advice/feedback or can help me with the launch in anyway?

Here is a preview link to the KS project. The preview has a little area to give feedback and I’d be really grateful if anyone could. Though please don’t share the link too widely as it is still work in progress.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1614678628/1351681387?token=16d29a91

And here is the link to the Facebook page that I’ve put together to try and raise some hype. So far this and a virtual launch party re really the only social media things I’ve done. Please feel free to like and share, or attend the launch but the main thing is any advice or feedback, especially from those who have done this kind of thing before.

https://www.facebook.com/ghosthuntercards

Thanks in advance, I’d just really value the opinions of some people who spend as much time looking at games as I do.

Kedric

ruy343
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Joined: 07/03/2013
Just a few pointers:

I've copied it to a Google doc, and I'm going to edit for you. I spotted a few typos. I'll post the link below.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wspvfGELfU2POvHdSBgs4Ky5gi9q-HmlTa2e...

EDIT: Done. You should have access now. PM me if you want to give me your e-mail so you can make edits.

Fancy Squid Games
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Thanks a lot for this. My

Thanks a lot for this. My email is

contactfancysquidgames@gmail.com

Was there a lot of typos? what did you tink about the project more generally?

Kedric

DifferentName
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Needs a Hook.

It's important for a kickstarter to grab attention quickly. I think most people take a pretty quick look at the video and page, trying to get an idea as quickly as they can if this game is for them.

For example, if you take a look at the video for most successful kickstarter games, the video tends to be just a few minutes long. It should quickly summarize what's good about the game, and what makes it fun. Sometimes they have another video that gets into other details, and I think the video you have on there seems more like the secondary details video.

DifferentName
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Duplicate

*accidentally replied twice. You can ignore this*

ruy343
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Huh...

drive says that sharing down for the moment. Later this evening then...

I agree wholeheartedly with the above post. You must make your kickstarter kick the reader where it starts! er... yeah.

but really though, you want them to be sold on how awesome it is in the first 5 minutes. What makes your game so fun? What sets you above the rest?

As designers, we get caught up in the mechanics of it all, and find the way that the game works to be awesome. That's, unfortunately, now what most people are looking for. They want a game that is easy, has interesting decisions, and that creates tension that adds to the game experience in a positive way.

EDIT: Ka-Shared!

firstcultural
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Joined: 09/11/2014
The giant block of text that

The giant block of text that starts with "So you want to join the Infernal Club? " could be broken up into a few short paragraphs and bullet point lists to make it easier to read.

stevebarkeruk
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My nitpicks:The shade of

My nitpicks:

The shade of electric blue you've chosen is really hard on the eyes, I wouldn't want to spend even 20 minutes staring at that.

Requiring someone to back the project before they're allowed to read the rulebook isn't great: if the rules are good, they're more likely to produce backers, so I think that's a counter-productive first "stretch goal".

Your £1000 stretch goal refers to hitting "1000 dollars", not 1000 pounds. Similarly your £3000 goal refers to "$3000" while under the £2500 goal you refer to an increase from "12pt" to "1.8pt" which I assume should be "1.2pt" to 1.8 or 12 to 18.

The whole thing needs a spelling and grammar check (to deal with things like "rest assure" and "distribtors").

I think you refer to the game as "Ghostbusters" at 0:37 in the video.

The game itself sounds okay!

Beggarking
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Hi - going to repeat some of

Hi - going to repeat some of what's already been said. I've done a lot of research but I'm not a Kickstarter expert, this feedback is mostly from the consumer part of my brain.

-You've chosen a really good project to start on Kickstarter, small and simple to manufacture. That's great. I like that you have only a handful of levels and its easily clear what's being ordered.

-Theming it as you have and coinciding it with Halloween was a clever idea.

-The intro video should be shortish (2-4 minutes) and talk about the actual game people are buying, not the history or your future goals as a designer, etc. Many customers won't sit through the first 5 minutes to get to the gameplay.

-Some of the video pieces could be part of an interesting narrative, but only if they can fit into a couple minutes, or are in separate videos (the tutorial is good, I'd have one video that is just the tutorial alter on).

-Suggestion: Don't talk about the art. Show it, and let consumers judge for themselves. I'd love to see images of full card hands and card variety, and some of the imagery highlighted. For a Kickstarter card game, it seems a bit light on showing the art, which is one of major reasons I'd want to buy it.

-I'd break up the large blocks of text with imagery, or by cutting the verbosity, or by using bullet points. It looks like you have a couple run-on paragraphs.

-Take a look at the back of some board game boxes for inspiration. There's usually a short thematic intro paragraph and sell text that highlights the games strengths. This sort of summary belongs at the top of your Kickstarter.

-You should make the rules available to everyone, not as a stretch goal. Many people wont buy a game without being able to see the rulebook.

-Blank cards isn't a stretch goal that gets me excited - I'd remove this. Less is more.

As an aside, you mentioned handling fulfillment yourself. have you costed out what it will take to ship from the US to UK and then back to the US as part of that cost? My understanding is that this has been a gotcha for other folks starting out on Kickstarter.

Looks like a fun, casual game - good luck!

Cheers!
--Thomas

Fancy Squid Games
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Guys these are all really

Guys these are all really valid comments.

Most of them I will be actioning shortly. The spelling grammar check has been handled and now updated. Late tonight i'll go through and shave the text right down and consider bullet pointing it. I have a friend who's going to edit/reimagine the video to make it more suitable. I'll probably direct him to this thread as a guide. I will show more of the art as well. I am reconsidering the rules as a stretch goal, but how do i include them without increasing the size of the text?

Here are the things I won't be changing; The electric blue stays, it looks better on the page than the screen and obviously I cannot change every asset in the game 4 days before the launch. The part about self fufillment has been costed and it's not as simple as it seems. I will only handle the UK orders this way. The US orders will be placed as individaul orders by me to the manufacturer and shipped straight to the backers address. I won't pay VAT or double postage if I don't have to.

To be honest I never saw KS as a marketing tool and didn't expect much passing trade. I just wanted a place where the folks I'd marketed to personally and on social media could go to actually back the game.

Fancy Squid Games
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Hey all. I've taken in to

Hey all. I've taken in to account all of the feed back and reveamped the KS page. Its got more card art, less mistakes, shorter and to the point video and less words. Please have a look and tell me if you prefer it?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1614678628/1351681387?token=16d29a91

firstcultural
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Joined: 09/11/2014
Looks almost ready to

Looks almost ready to launch!

Graphically, I'd change the "made in USA" logo - use a serif font to give it that old time 19th century vibe.

The bullet points are a bit too vague.
The rules are simple but the strategies are complex. <-- actually summarize the rules in a couple of lines, we all have different ideas of what is simple.

Skill and luck both play key roles. <-- perhaps an example here. "use your skill to get such and such combination of cards, but watch out - such and such random event could happen."

Plays like Palace with trick-taking and a scoring system. <-- I'm unfamiliar with Palace, maybe add a link to a page with the rules for Palace.

Fancy Squid Games
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Project is live!!

Everyone thanks for your help! the project is now live.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1614678628/ghost-hunter-0

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