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Seeking opinion on sell sheet.

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FreedomPortal
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Hello, I try to put together the first sell sheet for my card game. What do you guys think about it? I'm not a skilled artist so the graphics on the sheet are
come out like this.

Before you'd ask, the artwork on the sample card is from my artist friend that she did a few for me because she want to be hired as artist for my game if it gets published. It'd be too demanding if I ask her to do sell sheet as well.

My plan is to send this to publisher via email since I can't afford to fly to game convention or self publish my own game at this point. So if publisher is happy with my design, I'm gonna try to convince them to hire my friend as well.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4_2MLvhXO__OW5MWTJoWFRxcHc

I Will Never Gr...
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A few comments

The font is not the most readable. I get what you're going for, but it's a bit rough and there must be better, similar options.

The spelling and grammar needs work.

Needs a components list.

Don't forget to add your phone number if you're sending this to publishers. Email is ok, but interested parties may wish to call.

Invoke the game’s theme and marketability. I'm not sure you've done this .. I'm not quite sure if there is a theme (I see a paw print, and the name fetch, but I don't see anything else that matches with those (diamonds, pearls, gold?).

Perhaps too briefly describes the mechanics, but perhaps not. This one is up in the air with me.

Find a way to highlight special features.

Overall a decent start, but I am not quite sure I know what the game is all about just reading this - it needs something more to grab my attention and tell me exactly what it is I am looking at, without getting overly complex or difficult to navigate the page.

WinsmithGames
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A few things: 1. The sell

A few things:

1. The sell sheets outlines the player turns (Draw, Play, Fetch) and discusses many types of cards, but it leaves too many gaps of information. So there are three paths to victory? Coins, diamonds, or pearls?

2. I would provide an example of each type of card, to showcase how each of them are different.

3. In the first "Section" of the sell sheet, you mention three different types of cards: Treasure, Action, Items. But in the second "Section", you mention Character cards. Is there a 5th type of card? The information is too broken up and needs to be more focused.

4. Your sell sheet needs to describe what differentiates your game from other games; what is your hook, or why would people buy your game over other games? Your sheets states many facts about your games and gives SOME insight into the rules and content (but not enough), but everything describe is very general and surface level. Provide deeper insight.

5. Do not count on another publisher's hiring your friend as the game's artist. That is HIGHLY UNLIKELY. It seems the game may have a fairly low cost. Have you considered self-publishing it, maybe on the game crafter or Kickstarter (with a low goal)? Just a thought you may want to consider.

I like games that have options for free-for-all or team play. Different modes of play help add to replayability.

FreedomPortal
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Thank you very much for all

Thank you very much for all the comments I'll revise and improve.

About self publish choices....

Kickstarter is off limit since my country is not supported.

Gamecrafter is possible but it will be a waste to promote the game through online channel only without putting tremendous time and effort or money to push it.

Publish locally in my country is also possible but there'll be too few buyers here.

So getting published by established company looks like the most sensible choice for me, business-wise. Though, from what I had read, some publishers tend to prefer the game that never been published before than the one that had been, unless the game was very successful. That's why I try to persue this route first.

krone9
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some of the english and

some of the english and phrasing could be improved - happy to help if its useful, but for your rules etc you might want to get an editor/at least someone to read through and tweak

WinsmithGames
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I agree with Krone. An

I agree with Krone. An established publisher will likely see a document with poor grammar and English and think the game is just as poorly made. That may not be the case, but people tend to make those comparisons.

Secondly, a publisher is going to want a game that is 100% done. In other words, it has been playtested through and through, including blind playtesting (not just you, your friends, and family). If it's just a concept that hasn't gone through rigorous testing and refinement, they will likely notice and decline.

Here is a sell sheet template I found on the BGDF forums. This shows you want kind of information yours needs to show.
http://www.bamboozlebrothers.com/pdf/Sales_Sheet_Template-Dragon.pdf

Gabe
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Here are all the best

Here are all the best articles about sell sheets that I could find:

http://www.boardgamedesignlab.com/getting-published/#sell

Frank West
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My main concern would be the

My main concern would be the font, I found it a bit difficult to read.

I appreciate you're not a designer so don't want to go too heavy on the look of it because I think it's OK, but making it a little more readable would be helpful!

questccg
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Pay her for doing the sell sheet!

FreedomPortal wrote:
...So if publisher is happy with my design, I'm gonna try to convince them to hire my friend as well.

I don't want to knock your optimism. But I suggest you do a couple of things

  1. Try to make it clear that you are selling the design first.
  2. While you like your friend's artwork, publishers usually have their own talent.
  3. BUT if you target a SMALLER publisher - it may be possible to make a deal.

However I should warn you - IF you want to SHOWCASE what kind of ART your friend can do (And it really looks nice from the card samples!) - ask if she would be willing to HELP with the SELL SHEET.

This way you can say: "If you guys liked the sell sheet - I'm sure she can do an amazing job on the game." Something like that.

The other side of things, pay her for the artwork that she does do. It's nice she made some card samples - but most of the time designers PAY for art. And this way you can not feel guilty, because your artist is being paid for the help...

Some things to think about!

FreedomPortal
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questccg wrote:The other

questccg wrote:

The other side of things, pay her for the artwork that she does do. It's nice she made some card samples - but most of the time designers PAY for art. And this way you can not feel guilty, because your artist is being paid for the help...

Some things to think about!

Thank you for your advice. Then comes next question, if I have paid the cost for the art already and publisher agree to use it, I suppose I can ask them for the cost of the art too, isn't it?

I Will Never Gr...
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FreedomPortal wrote:questccg

FreedomPortal wrote:
questccg wrote:

The other side of things, pay her for the artwork that she does do. It's nice she made some card samples - but most of the time designers PAY for art. And this way you can not feel guilty, because your artist is being paid for the help...

Some things to think about!

Thank you for your advice. Then comes next question, if I have paid the cost for the art already and publisher agree to use it, I suppose I can ask them for the cost of the art too, isn't it?

Everything is up for negotiation when you are signing a deal with a publisher. They may or may not agree to reimburse any sunk costs, depending on the publisher and what they plan to do. There's no straight forward answer to that other than, if you find a publisher willing to sign your game, ask them about it.

questccg
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An investment

FreedomPortal wrote:
...Then comes next question, if I have paid the cost for the art already and publisher agree to use it, I suppose I can ask them for the cost of the art too, isn't it?

Look at it this way, without the nice art the odds of interesting a SMALLER publisher are more difficult. They may know of a few people, but the art style may be different and not match what you would like for your game.

Demonstrating that you have already found an artist who is capable and willing to do the artwork is a PLUS for them!

In the business of designing games - designers usually bare the cost of the upfront art. And hope to get a return, when the game is Kickstarted or sold in stores.

So while you could ask for a reimbursement - I would not. I'd rather chuck it into the "Got me published - because I paid for some artwork" category. And let the Publisher pay your artist for the remaining artwork.

It's like stores that have "loss leaders": stores sell things inexpensive to attract buyers into the store hoping they might buy MORE than planned and therefore recovering the loss with the purchase of additional items.

That's kind of what I am saying: it's like an investment you make to hope to attract the right Publisher.

Asking for money from a Publisher is not the best way to start a relationship. Smaller Publishers have more limited funds - and you should be HAPPY that they take your artist and produce your game. If you have to sink in a few bucks, well that's what it takes to get your game "out-there"!

I Will Never Gr...
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Looking to be published? Read this.

This link is invaluable for anyone looking for a publisher for their game. In fact, the majority of James Mathe's blogs are well worth the time to read.

http://www.jamesmathe.com/courting-a-game-publisher-dos-and-donts/

FreedomPortal
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Updated sell sheet

Thank you again for everyone who comments on my sell sheet. I've tried to improve the whole sheet for the past few weeks. Now it's done. Please review it one more time.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4_2MLvhXO__anBMcThVVjMybDg

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