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Looking for feedback on sell sheet

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ananda
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Hello all!

I've developed a game to the point where I want to approach publishers, and was hoping to get some feedback about sell sheets. I've attached the current version of my sell sheet to this post. I appreciate any insights you can give on how to make it as effective as possible.

Thanks!

let-off studios
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Sell Sheet

All the text makes sense and your word choice is solid. You grouped the main body of text into three sections, and that's easy to connect into a narrative (the classic "beginning, middle, end" structure) the reader can understand. I wonder if you want to use the word "Become" as your leading verb though, as that seems much weaker than "Annihilate" and even "Plan."

I'm wondering if there's something else you could put in place of the fanned-out cards graphic along the right hand side. Have you tried a bulleted list of player actions on their turn? A list of victory conditions? Is there something you can include that can paint a clearer picture of the connection of the "steps" mentioned in your description?

Keep up the great work! I think this is a fairly good sell sheet. Maybe a little experimentation on content (like I described above) can make it even more impactful. Best of success to you! :)

Jay103
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Sounds like a game I'd enjoy

Sounds like a game I'd enjoy (if I had someone to play it with)

I'd say "giving YOUR OPPONENT time to react" instead of "you", since it's implied that you're the caster in that paragraph.

I'd reorder the thing so that it was

TITLE
All the text
General Info - Audience - Components

And i'd rename "audience" to something else, like "Genre"

ananda
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let-off studios wrote:I

let-off studios wrote:
I wonder if you want to use the word "Become" as your leading verb though, as that seems much weaker than "Annihilate" and even "Plan."

Good point. I've changed it to "Master the art of spellweaving" so that it is less passive.

let-off studios wrote:
I'm wondering if there's something else you could put in place of the fanned-out cards graphic along the right hand side. Have you tried a bulleted list of player actions on their turn? A list of victory conditions? Is there something you can include that can paint a clearer picture of the connection of the "steps" mentioned in your description?

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to give a better picture while keeping the text concise. I am already worried that there is too much text as it is. The only thing a player does on their turn is to play a card from their hand (and to exchange unwanted cards from their hand with cards from their deck), so there isn't really a list of player actions. There is only one victory condition (empty their hand), which I explain under "Annihilate your foe".

To make things clearer, I modified the "Plan a flawless assault" section to try to give a better idea of what a player does each round.

Also, the purpose of the fanned out cards is to give a close up view of what cards look like. They are visible in the active game picture, but much smaller.

Jay103 wrote:
I'd say "giving YOUR OPPONENT time to react" instead of "you", since it's implied that you're the caster in that paragraph.

I decided to remove that sentence to make room for information that better describes what the player is doing each round, which resolves that issue.

Jay103 wrote:
I'd reorder the thing so that it was

TITLE
All the text
General Info - Audience - Components

Giving it a try. Not sure whether I like it better, but it is nice that the three colored boxes are not next to the solid black title box; it does feel a bit more balanced.

Jay103 wrote:
And i'd rename "audience" to something else, like "Genre"

I've heard this feedback before, so I'm giving it a try. I'm not sure whether genre is really the best word (but I don't think audience is either); basically, it is describing categories of mechanics and norms that the game fits into.

Also, this probably sounds weird, but I kind of want the labels of each of the three boxes to start with different letters to avoid the appearance of alliteration.

Edit: New version of sell sheet is "version 4"

questccg
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Type???

ananda wrote:
Jay103 wrote:
And i'd rename "audience" to something else, like "Genre"

I've heard this feedback before, so I'm giving it a try. I'm not sure whether genre is really the best word (but I don't think audience is either); basically, it is describing categories of mechanics and norms that the game fits into.

Also, this probably sounds weird, but I kind of want the labels of each of the three boxes to start with different letters to avoid the appearance of alliteration.

Instead of "Genre", you could use the term "Type" which is a categorization also... It might be more suitable (as per your valid point).

OR use "Genre" along with "Info" and "Components"... Take out the "General" and it might be less "weird"!

OR use "Game Type" along with "Info" and "Components"... Another variation!

Cheers.

ananda
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questccg wrote: Instead of

questccg wrote:

Instead of "Genre", you could use the term "Type" which is a categorization also... It might be more suitable (as per your valid point).

OR use "Genre" along with "Info" and "Components"... Take out the "General" and it might be less "weird"!

OR use "Game Type" along with "Info" and "Components"... Another variation!

Cheers.

Yeah, I think maybe I'll just remove "General".

Thanks, everybody, for the advice.

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